This sentence was Qi Mingxuan’s answer, as well as a promise he wanted to fulfill for a lifetime.
He didn’t know how his feelings for Li Shu had begun, only that by the time he realized it, they had penetrated deep into his bones, and he could no longer let them go.
With the warmth and fragrance of Li Shu in his embrace, it felt as though his entire heart had been filled. Qi Mingxuan rested his head on the young man’s shoulder, and sighed contentedly.
It was a peculiar feeling. From childhood to adulthood, he had never desired anything in particular. He had grown up emotionally detached, and when his mother passed away, he was still young and had little interaction with the outside world. He had even less impression of the Mu family, so he didn’t have much emotional attachment to these matters when he was young.
But as he grew older, more and more people spoke to him about these matters. Their words were extremely vicious. In order to hit him, they would say whatever was unpleasant.
Because of these words, his impression of the Mu family grew deeper. Later, during his most difficult times, the former members of the Mu family took him out of the palace and revealed the truth about the past events. Only then did he have a complete understanding of what had happened in the past.
Seeking revenge for the Mu family and his mother was a duty bestowed upon him by blood ties, one he had to bear. He had to lead the former members of the Mu family to reclaim what belonged to them. Before meeting Li Shu, all his efforts were for this purpose, for the unjustly killed members of the Mu family, and for himself, who had endured so much hardship. He felt obliged to take on that position.
But what about after that? What would he do after completing this task? Whenever he thought about this question, Qi Mingxuan felt lost. Looking back, he realized that there was nothing in this world worth clinging to.
As he had told Li Shu, it didn’t matter whether he became emperor or not, or for how long. His pursuit of that position was not entirely for himself; it was because he bore the burden of too many people’s blood debts. The living and restless souls of those people pushed him forward, urging him on.
It wasn’t until he met Li Shu that he had a clear hope for the future. He wanted to be with the young man in the future, whether it was enduring confinement in the imperial city or leaving everything behind to travel to distant lands, as long as he could be by Li Shu’s side, it would be enough.
“Your Highness, I may not be able to give you a satisfactory answer.” After the shock, Li Shu said in a voice two degrees lower than usual.
Originally, he just wanted to comfort Qi Mingxuan, who rarely showed such low emotions. He didn’t expect to hear another confession. This time, Qi Mingxuan’s tone was even more firm than before.
Li Shu didn’t deny that his feelings for Qi Mingxuan were different from those for others. Maybe he had developed feelings for Qi Mingxuan, but he didn’t want to let those feelings run rampant. He was destined to shuttle between different worlds in the future, and if he formed attachments in this world, he couldn’t guarantee what he would do in the future.
Unlike humans, the Nine-tailed Fox clan placed great importance on emotions. If they fell in love with someone, it was for life; they wouldn’t suddenly fall in love with someone else midway through, nor could they tolerate betrayal from their lover.
The bonds of the Nine-Tailed Fox clan were either sweet and lasting or ended with the death of one partner. There were no other options.
His life was too unequal to Qi Mingxuan’s. If he agreed to be with Qi Mingxuan, after a few decades of happiness, what awaited him would be endless loneliness. Could he truly endure it?
A person who had never seen light could endure eternal darkness, but once they had seen the light, even if only once, they could be driven mad by the previously bearable infinite darkness. Likewise, matters of the heart were the same.
Never having experienced and then experiencing loss was undoubtedly more unbearable.
Li Shu had already prepared himself to remain alone forever. For a long time, his obsession was to cultivate well and, when he reached a certain level, to seek out that man, not for any other reason but to understand why that man had left without a word.
It had been so many years, he barely remembered what the man looked like, only recalling the perpetually unchanged simple black robe and the warm hands that touched him.
He propped himself up slightly and looked at the man embracing him. The handsome side profile entered his eyes. After being exposed to the rain, the man’s body was soaked, his hair stuck together in strands, clinging to his face and neck.
Even through the armor, he could feel the heat emanating from the man, the fiery heart beating in his chest. It wasn’t for today’s victory or for the readily available power and status; it was only for him.
Just for him.
How long could such a passionate, domineering, and exclusive feeling last? One year, two years, or perhaps five years, ten years… he wasn’t sure, and he would never be sure.
With the capabilities of the Nine-Tailed Fox clan, he could guarantee that the man would never betray him in his lifetime, but he always disdained self-deception, let alone using it himself.
The hands around his waist were so strong, securing him firmly yet so gently, for fear that using a little too much force would cause him pain.
Holding this person was like holding the whole world, and all the emptiness in his heart was filled. Qi Mingxuan buried his head in the young man’s neck, his hot breaths spraying on Li Shu’s neck, who tilted his head slightly to avoid it.
A deep, magnetic voice emanated from beside his ear.
“I understand, I won’t force you.” Qi Mingxuan was already content with this response.
Compared to the first confession, Li Shu’s attitude had noticeably softened, indicating that Li Shu did have some feelings for him. Since he didn’t relent now, it might be because Li Shu’s feelings for him weren’t deep enough, or perhaps the young man was holding back something, unable to give him an answer now.
It’s okay, he could wait.
He believed that one day, he could move the young man and hear the answer he wanted from his lips.
After being allowed to hold the young man for a while longer, Qi Mingxuan finally let go. Looking at the water stains he had caused on the young man’s body, Qi Mingxuan felt somewhat distressed.
“Go change your clothes, they’re all wet.” Qi Mingxuan touched the wet spots on Li Shu’s body and blamed himself inwardly. He knew he was wet, why did he not give up holding the young man after so long?
“It’s fine, they’re not completely soaked,” Li Shu pulled at his clothes, “Speaking of changing clothes, Your Highness should change this outfit too.”
Qi Mingxuan’s clothes were thoroughly wet from inside out.
“I’ll go get Your Highness some dry clothes.”
Li Shu turned around, his hair brushing against the back of the man’s hand like a feather, touching the depths of his heart. The hair was so soft that Qi Mingxuan couldn’t help but gently grasp it.
‘Huh? Wet?’
The young man had been inside the palace all this time; his hair shouldn’t be wet. Even if it drizzled on him on the way in, it shouldn’t be to this extent unless… the young man left the palace after he left.
To ensure the young man’s safety, there were many guards outside the palace. If the young man had indeed left, someone should have reported it to him. However, when he inquired, his subordinates said there was nothing unusual.
Had the young man left during this time? He knew the young man’s capabilities, he could easily slip past the guards and come back unnoticed. His arrangement of guards wasn’t to restrict the young man from doing anything about that he had made it clear with the young man before leaving. So, what was the young man doing outside?
Or perhaps, he was overthinking?
The young man’s clothes were dry, and they were the same ones he had on before he left. Only the ends of his hair were wet, perhaps it was because he hadn’t dried them earlier.
Such a reason didn’t hold up, the time from when he left to when he returned was definitely not short, his hair wouldn’t still be wet after so long. Qi Mingxuan watched Li Shu’s figure as he walked away, his eyes darkening. He didn’t suspect the young man of doing anything bad, he just hated himself for not doing enough, unable to make the young man let his guard down in front of him.
Li Shu got clean clothes for Qi Mingxuan to change into.
After taking off the heavy armor and putting it aside, Qi Mingxuan changed into a dark robe of the same color as Li Shu’s clothes.
These clothes belonged to him. Although he often stayed on the border and had a mansion outside the palace, he was still a prince. Despite not being favored by the emperor, he still had the things he should have.
For example, this palace was bestowed upon him after his first major victory against Xi Qiong, and it contained everything it should. He seldom stayed here, so most of the items inside were brand new, including the clothes he was now wearing.
“Your Highness, let me dry your hair.” Seeing Qi Mingxuan change into clean clothes, Li Shu handed over a towel.
He didn’t know how to help dry someone’s hair. Qi Mingxuan had helped him dry his hair before, and in the past, he would have simply used a small spell to solve this situation quickly and conveniently.
Unfortunately, there was no spiritual power in this world, so he couldn’t use those small spells that required spiritual power. He could only resort to the most primitive method.
“Alright.”
Qi Mingxuan took the towel. His fingers lightly touched Li Shu’s, and he felt a surge in his heart. He wanted to hold this hand, but he resisted the urge when he met the young man’s slightly smiling eyes.
The young man hadn’t accepted him yet, so he couldn’t act recklessly.
“Your Highness, there’s something to report.” An Yu’s voice came from outside, breaking the tender atmosphere in the room.
“Come in.”
Although he didn’t want to disturb the private moment with the young man, Qi Mingxuan knew there were urgent matters to attend to.
An Yu, who was also in armor, pushed the door open and entered, followed by someone dressed in eunuch attire, Eunuch An.
An Yu cupped his fists and knelt down on one knee, ”Master, Eunuch An says there’s something important to report, and I can’t make a decision on this matter.”
Eunuch An knelt behind An Yu and bowed towards the direction where Qi Mingxuan and Li Shu were, getting straight to the point:
“Does His Highness Prince Qin know that His Majesty once wrote an edict during his serious illness?”
Qi Mingxuan truly didn’t know about this. When it came to understanding the emperor, no one could surpass Eunuch An, who served by the emperor’s side every day. This matter was indeed of great importance, but what was written in that posthumous edict?
If it was written in favor of the Eldest Prince or the Fourth Prince, it would be easy to handle. However, if it was one of the other princes, it would be unjustifiable for Qi Mingxuan to sit in that position.
The other princes were all timid and meek. Raised in the palace’s power struggles, they lacked a solid foundation so they weren’t much of a problem. The problem would be some of the powerful ministers in the court. Compared to the unpredictable Prince Qin, these easily controlled princes would obviously satisfy their private desires more.
Because Qi Mingxuan took action earlier than in the original plot, the preparations made were obviously not sufficient in comparison. Those troublesome ministers hadn’t been dealt with yet. After ascending, if he wanted to clear the Mu family, he would have to outwit them.
Qi Mingxuan was standing beside Li Shu. On hearing Eunuch An’s words, he stopped playing with his sleeve cuffs, his pitch-black eyes piercing towards the prostrate Eunuch An, his thin lips tightly pursed.
“Do you know where that edict is?” Feeling the emotions surging in Qi Mingxuan’s body, Li Shu spoke up for him.
Eunuch An’s eyes flashed with surprise. It seemed that the rumors were true after all. The relationship between Master Li and Prince Qin was indeed very good. Otherwise, why would Master Li appear in the palace at this critical moment, being firmly protected within this palace, and now able to speak on behalf of Prince Qin?
Seeing Prince Qin’s subordinate and confidant showing no sign of surprise, Eunuch An collected his thoughts and replied respectfully, “I know. His Majesty ordered me to hide this edict.”
“Why are you telling me about the posthumous edict?” Qi Mingxuan’s face showed a strange expression. Eunuch An was definitely loyal to his father. Why would he tell him about this matter after his father’s death? At this time, shouldn’t he be contacting the ministers out there to fulfill the contents of the edict?
He believed that with Eunuch An’s many years of operation in the palace, it wouldn’t be difficult for him to break through his blockade and pass on a message to the outside.
Unless…
Eunuch An didn’t answer Qi Mingxuan’s question. Instead, he bowed again and said, “I can take Your Highness to find that edict.”
“Okay, I will trust you this time.”
“Master! It might be a trap!” An Yu raised his head and looked at Qi Mingxuan with anxious eyes. Who knew what was in the mind of this Eunuch An? What if he intended to harm his master?
“It’s okay. Eunuch An, lead the way.” Qi Mingxuan took a few steps forward and then turned back, “Zi Shu, wait for me here, alright?”
He was willing to take the risk himself, but he couldn’t bear to let Li Shu be in danger.
“No, Your Highness, I want to go and see.” Li Shu refused. His voice was not loud, but his attitude was firm.
Qi Mingxuan thought for a moment and agreed. He knew that the young man was not a canary kept in a beautiful cage but an eagle soaring in the sky. He couldn’t clip the young man’s wings just because he was worried.
“Then Zi Shu can come with us.” Qi Mingxuan compromised.
An Yu was used to this scene, but Eunuch An’s heart was filled with waves of shock. He had heard various rumors about Prince Qin, such as being decisive, ruthless, and uncompromising…all sorts of things. He had followed the emperor for many years and saw a slightly different Prince Qin from the rumors, but not by much.
But in front of Master Li, he seemed very different. All his sharp edges were restrained, and his air of uncompromising authority disappeared completely. It seemed that Master Li Shu held a heavier position in Prince Qin’s heart than he had imagined.
The group moved through the darkness and stopped in front of an abandoned palace. The dark guards behind automatically dispersed and searched the surroundings. An Yu flew over from a distance and nodded slightly at Qi Mingxuan.
It meant that there was no problem here.
Qi Mingxuan led the way inside. He didn’t look around but the pressure around him lowered significantly.
As they walked, Li Shu looked around. The walls were cracked, and the ground was overgrown with weeds. This place was desolate and dilapidated, completely different from the other places in the palace. If they hadn’t seen it with their own eyes, it would be hard to imagine that such a place existed in the palace.
The further they went, the more desolate it became. After years of wind and frost, this palace no longer resembled its former self. Only from some small details could one glimpse a bit of its past glory.
Li Shu was extremely sensitive to human emotions, so he immediately knew that Qi Mingxuan’s mood was off. The further they went, the more he could feel the hostility emanating from Qi Mingxuan. Li Shu turned to look at Qi Mingxuan, who covered his eyes with his hand and said in a hoarse voice, “Don’t look.”
He knew what expression he must be wearing now. He didn’t want the young man to see him like this, looking like a ghost crawling out of hell without any grace.
Returning here again, he thought he wouldn’t be greatly affected, but it seemed he had overestimated himself. He thought those things had faded from his memory, and he thought he could face that past calmly. It turned out he couldn’t.
As soon as he stepped in here, it was as if he had traveled through time and returned to over a decade ago, becoming the seventh prince who was at the mercy of others. Those people loudly mocked him as the “star of disaster, the bringer of calamity”. The nanny and palace maids who raised him were pinned to the ground and whipped, their screams piercing.
He saw blood staining the ground red. The nanny trembled as she reached out, touching his cheek with her rough palm and trying to smile, “Nanny won’t be able to accompany Your Highness anymore. Your Highness, you must protect yourself and grow up healthy.”
The warmth of her hand gradually disappeared, leaving only coldness. He stood alone in the courtyard, surrounded by darkness. All the light around him vanished, and he lost the last warmth.
Cold.
It was as if he had fallen into an ice cave, and the coldness enveloped him from all directions, freezing his soul.
“Your Highness, are you okay?”
With a single sentence, the sunlight shone, melting the ice and snow, dispelling the cold. He broke free from his childhood memories, put down his hand, and looked into Li Shu’s eyes. “I’m fine now.”
There was a faint worry in the young man’s eyes, which made Qi Mingxuan happy. A slight unnoticeable smile tugged at the corners of his mouth.
No matter what happened here before, it was all in the past. He had already avenged those people a hundredfold. He shouldn’t be trapped by memories of the past.
“Your Highness, I found it.”
The imperial edict was placed in a half-arm-length sandalwood box, and besides the edict, there was also a palm-sized jade pendant in the box. The jade pendant was pure white, with a lustrous sheen. Carved on the front was a vermilion bird spreading its wings.
Seeing this jade pendant, Qi Mingxuan was somewhat stunned. If he wasn’t mistaken, this jade pendant should belong to his mother. From the time children of the Mu family are born, their elders would give them a jade pendant that had been consecrated by the master of Xian Guo Temple. Boys received an eagle, and girls received a vermilion bird. He used to have one too, but it was broken.
“This jade pendant…” Li Shu was shocked. Wasn’t it the love token the male protagonist gave to the female protagonist? Why would it appear here?
“It belongs to my mother.” Qi Mingxuan picked up the jade pendant. Sure enough, there was a “Mu” character carved on the back of the jade pendant. He held it in his hand and rubbed it a few times. Qi Mingxuan asked, “Did you put this jade pendant in here? Where did you get this jade pendant from?”
After obtaining the item, the group returned to the main hall. Eunuch An knelt on the ground and upon hearing this question, raised his head, “Your Highness, your words really puzzle me. How would I dare to put things in there at will? This old slave didn’t place the contents of this sandalwood box there.”
“You didn’t put it there?”
“Absolutely not, Your Highness. His Majesty entrusted this box to me. Even if I had ten times the courage, I wouldn’t dare to open it.”
This statement was true. If the sandalwood box really contained the posthumous edict, Eunuch An wouldn’t dare to touch anything inside. One wrong move could bring about great disaster.
“Your Highness, please read the posthumous edict first,” Li Shu reminded.
They didn’t have much time left. If the content of the edict was truly unfavorable to them, they had to make plans as soon as possible.
Qi Mingxuan put the jade pendant back in the wooden box and picked up the edict placed in the middle of the box.
Everyone held their breath. At this moment, only Qi Mingxuan, Li Shu, An Yu, and Eunuch An were in the hall. An Yu stood by Eunuch An’s side, his right hand resting on the hilt of his sword. If the content of the edict was not right, he would take action against Eunuch An to prevent this matter from leaking out.
The bright yellow scroll was unfolded by a pair of hands with clear joints. Qi Mingxuan only glanced at it twice before closing the scroll and exhaling slowly.
“Your Highness?” An Yu’s hand on the sword hilt slowly tightened.
Qi Mingxuan shook his head, indicating for him not to act rashly.
“Eunuch An, did His Majesty say anything when he handed the box to you?” Qi Mingxuan’s mood was quite complicated. He didn’t expect to find these two unexpected things in the palace he least wanted to face.
—The mementos of his mother, which he thought he would never find again, and an abdication edict with the name of the successor left blank.
“No, Your Highness. At that time, His Majesty could no longer speak. He just instructed me to hand this box to you.” Eunuch An still remembered the complicated expression in the Emperor’s eyes that night—guilt, regret, nostalgia, reluctance… The emotions were mixed together and unforgettable.
That night, the Emperor’s condition had slightly improved, and he could move a little. Before he could rejoice, he was given this task. It was as if the emperor had exhausted all his strength to do this. After that night, the Emperor’s condition deteriorated rapidly, and he became drowsy all day long, with less and less hours awake.
“Eunuch An, do you really not know what’s written in this edict?” Without waiting for Eunuch An’s answer, Qi Mingxuan smiled slightly, “It doesn’t matter if you do. Bring a pen and ink here.”
“An Yu, take care of Eunuch An and make sure nothing happens to him.”
Had he escaped a disaster? Eunuch An’s tense nerves finally relaxed. He knew the risk of doing this was great, but this was the last thing the Emperor had instructed him to do, and he was determined to do it even at the cost of his life.
The edict was spread out on the desk, revealing its contents. Qi Mingxuan didn’t avoid Li Shu. Instead, he held his hand and stood side by side in front of the edict.
“Zi Shu, why do you think the Emperor left this edict and specifically instructed Eunuch An to hand it to me?”
An edict of abdication without a name allowed him to avoid a lot of trouble. With this edict, no matter how unwilling those ministers were, they would have to hold their noses and congratulate the new emperor.
“His Majesty entrusted the choice to you, Your Highness, no, to Your Majesty. Let me complete this edict for you.”
With his right hand held by the man, Li Shu held the pen in his left hand and carefully completed the words on the edict.
“Zi Shu’s handwriting…” Qi Mingxuan looked at the new characters on the edict, which were exactly the same as the emperor’s handwriting, and was surprised.
“I can mimic other people’s handwriting.” Not only handwriting, but as long as he wanted, he could perfectly mimic everything about others.
This was a side of him that Qi Mingxuan had never known, and the young man displayed this previously unknown side to him without reservation. How could he not be excited?
Qi Mingxuan stretched out his long arm and hugged the young man into his arms again, gently kissing his hair.
“Zi Shu, don’t leave me.”
——————————-
The author has something to say:
Qi Mingxuan (anticipating): Zi Shu, today is the Qixi Festival. Can I have a holiday gift?
Li Shu: What do you want?
Qi Mingxuan (hesitated for a moment, whispered): …A tail.
Li Shu (puzzled): What do you want a tail for?
Qi Mingxuan (voice even quieter): …On the bed…
Li Shu: …
(So Qi Mingxuan was beaten up by Li Shu and thrown out of bed.)
Qi Mingxuan: QAQ
(The thought of nine tails is exciting.)
(Hey! Stop it, brain!)
