After the first class on Monday morning, Xin Hexue submitted his subject selection intention form. The main group of the class went down the eastern staircase to the sports ground for the flag-raising ceremony.
This kind of occasion was always a crush of people, a vast, swarming crowd resembling an ocean of blue-and-white school uniforms.
Class lines were always arranged by height, so Xin Hexue was separated from Lin Oufei and the others. Yu Zao and Lu Yang’s deskmate, Tian Fengyu, stood between them. In the line, everyone had to stand an arm’s length apart, not right next to each other.
As the principal on the stage began his eloquent speech, Lu Yang leaned forward and called to Lin Oufei, “Ask Xin Hexue for me if he wants to go to the convenience store together after we disband.”
Lin Oufei remained silent, then crossed his arms and said, “I’m not obligated to pass messages.”
“…”
Lu Yang felt he and Xin Hexue were like the Cowherd and the Weaver Girl, separated by the Milky Way.
Helpless, he had to raise his voice a little and call to the person in front of Lin Oufei.
“Tian Fengyu! Tian Fengyu!” Lu Yang cupped his hands like a megaphone, shouting lowly until his deskmate turned around. “Ask Xin Hexue for me if he wants to go to the convenience store together after we disband.”
Tian Fengyu gave an OK gesture, took half a step forward, and tapped Yu Zao in front of him. “Lu Yang is asking Xin Hexue if he wants to disband the convenience store together later.”
Yu Zao: “Oh.”
Xin Hexue, who had been zoning out, was called by his deskmate and turned his head. Yu Zao pointed backwards, “Lu Yang says he supports you in disbanding the Ministry of Education.”
Xin Hexue: ?
When Lu Yang saw Xin Hexue look back, he leaned out expectantly from the side.
Then he saw him shake his head.
Xin Hexue said to Yu Zao, “Tell him to listen carefully and be careful not to get caught by the teacher.”
Yu Zao turned his head: “Xin Hexue told Lu Yang to be more clever.”
Tian Fengyu turned his head: “Xin Hexue said you’re a stupid egg.”
Lu Yang: “?”
Thanks to you all. If it weren’t for you, I would have been with Xin Hexue long ago.
They stood there for almost twenty minutes before the principal’s speech finally ended. The dismissed crowd surged towards the three exits of the sports ground.
“Xin Hexue!”
Amid the noisy, chaotic sounds of the crowd, he thought he heard someone calling his name.
The flow of people was dense, and Xin Hexue couldn’t immediately pinpoint the face. A force suddenly rushed from behind, and a long arm looped around his shoulder. Lu Yang grinned broadly, “Should we go to the convenience store? I’ll treat you to mung bean soup.”
There was still time before the next class, and the convenience store was just a few extra steps away, not far.
Xin Hexue agreed, “Okay. Was that what you were trying to tell me through the messages earlier? To go to the convenience store together?”
Lu Yang: “Yeah, what else could it be?”
Xin Hexue: “Is Lin Oufei going?”
Lu Yang: “He said he has to go to the office to move homework.”
The two chatted as they left the playground, and their figures quickly disappeared in the crowd.
Miao Ling, who had just caught a glimpse of someone, but then lost sight of them in an instant, stomped her foot in frustration.
Wu Ke’er tugged Miao Ling’s hand and whispered, “Forget it, there are too many people. He can’t hear you. We’ll talk to him next time we see him.”
………
The last period in the afternoon was physical education class, but in other words, it was free activity. Some went downstairs to play ball, some classmates stayed in the classroom to do homework, and another portion, the boarding students, directly slipped back to the dormitory area to fetch water and bathe.
Lu Yang went for training. Xin Hexue and Lin Oufei prepared to do homework in the classroom as usual until six in the evening, then go back together.
Yu Zao and another classmate went to the library to return and borrow books, so the seat next to Xin Hexue was empty for this period. Lin Oufei said a greeting and naturally occupied the nest like a magpie.
He was left-handed, so when writing, his elbow would occasionally bump against Xin Hexue’s.
Lin Oufei glanced sideways; the skin over Xin Hexue’s elbow was very thin, wrapping around delicate, well-proportioned bones.
Perhaps tired from writing, he put down his pen and moved his wrist and finger joints.
Noticing Lin Oufei looking at him, Xin Hexue turned his head, “What’s wrong?”
Lin Oufei replied calmly: “Nothing.”
Watching Xin Hexue’s movements, he asked, “Does your hand hurt? I can massage it for you.”
Xin Hexue shook the fingers of his right hand, and answered faintly, “It’s alright. It’s fine, it’ll be done soon.”
“Oh.” Lin Oufei withdrew his gaze.
Xin Hexue thought he had heard arguing from the house next door last night, but Lin Oufei hadn’t brought it up today, so it seemed he didn’t want to talk about it. Out of concern, Xin Hexue still probed indirectly, “Has Uncle Zhou come to see you recently?”
“I won’t see him even if he comes.” Lin Oufei’s expression showed no change as he replaced the refill in his ballpoint pen. “Anyway, I won’t act according to his plans. I’m not his creation, nor am I a lower substitute for his eldest son.”
He had heard before that Lin Oufei’s half-brother had developed severe depression while studying abroad.
Although he didn’t know what happened exactly, from the fragments mentioned by Auntie Lin and Lin Oufei, it seemed the Zhou family was in a state of chaos.
Xin Hexue then noticed that what he had been writing didn’t seem to be homework. He leaned over to look, “What are you writing?”
The head leaning under his eyelids had soft, dark hair.
Lin Oufei’s hand itched; he clenched his fist and answered, “Withdrawal application.”
Xin Hexue didn’t expect this and asked in surprise, “But didn’t you just win the municipal first prize? You’re withdrawing from the provincial competition?”
At the end of the summer vacation, after returning to Lingzhou City, Lin Oufei still participated in the municipal competition.
Seeing that Lin Oufei remained silent, Xin Hexue probed keenly, “Is it because of Uncle Zhou and Auntie Lin?”
Because he didn’t want to become what his parents demanded, he used quitting as a means of resistance. For dependent children, the only weapon they could hold was themselves.
Xin Hexue could roughly understand Lin Oufei’s thinking. He rested his head on his folded arms on the desk, looking up at the other person, “But don’t you like the Math Olympiad?”
To have persisted for so long, it probably wasn’t just due to parental pressure.
Moreover, Xin Hexue had observed that apart from the time spent with them, Lin Oufei was always as still as a pond without flowing water. Only when dealing with mathematics did his brow smooth out, showing some of the lively spirit of a young person.
Even if he didn’t say it, Xin Hexue could see the hesitation in Lin Oufei’s heart.
“…” Lin Oufei didn’t directly answer Xin Hexue’s question. He just folded the application form neatly and put it away. “Anyway, even without the competitions, I can get into domestic universities. Participating has no meaning or value.”
The application was tucked into an inner compartment of his schoolbag, and Lin Oufei’s profile looked cold and lonely.
“Really?” Xin Hexue’s voice was gentle and calm, his tone clear and smooth. “Value is assigned by the outside world, but meaning is assigned by oneself. Quitting midway is a bit of a pity, um… won’t you reconsider?”
Lin Oufei was taken aback.
“However, no matter what you choose, we will support you.” Xin Hexue shared half of his sandwich biscuit with Lin Oufei, the corners of his lips curving in a smile. “After all, we are best friends.”
Lin Oufei lowered his eyelids, took the biscuit, and bit into it with a sharp crunch, as if he was chewing on something else.
He was unwilling.
He was unwilling to be just friends.
But he had nothing, and he dared not take a gamble on his only friendship.
………
After school, Miao Ling finally managed to find the person in Classroom One.
She leaned by the area near the back door, her high ponytail swishing, and waved her hand quietly, “Xin Hexue, come out for a moment.”
Xin Hexue put down his pen and walked to the corridor outside the back door, “What is it, Miao Ling? Is something wrong?”
“Did you read that letter?” Miao Ling asked directly, “What did you think?”
Xin Hexue blinked, “What letter?”
………
Lu Yang came running back excitedly, his face still wet from washing it after leaving the sports field. His l eyebrows were thick and dark, his features sharp and full of vigor. He picked up his backpack and saw that Xin Hexue hadn’t moved yet. “Aren’t you heading home? Or you haven’t finished yet?”
Xin Hexue pursed his lips, picked up his backpack, and walked past Lu Yang out of the classroom without saying anything.
Lu Yang’s outstretched hand that was meant to help carry the backpack froze mid-air.
“What happened?” He glanced at Lin Oufei in confusion.
Did Lin Oufei badmouth him behind his back to Xin Hexue?
He knew this guy was up to no good.
Lin Oufei shook his head indifferently and stayed silent.
Whether someone had spoken ill of him or it was something else, Lu Yang didn’t have time to analyze. He hurried to catch up.
“Why aren’t you talking to me?”
Lu Yang, with his hands in his pockets, circled around Xin Hexue, going down the stairs sometimes on the left, sometimes on the right, spinning like a top.
“Xin Hexue? Xin Hexue? Don’t ignore me.”
Seeing him stumble as if about to fall, Xin Hexue suddenly grabbed the back of Lu Yang’s collar and scolded him, “Watch your step.”
“Oh.”
Realizing that Xin Hexue was truly angry, Lu Yang decided to stop while he was ahead.
Even after they reached the tube-shaped apartment building at the power plant, there was no sign of Xin Hexue’s mood improving.
Lu Yang pushed his bicycle but didn’t go to his own home, instead followed Xin Hexue all the way to the building’s entrance.
Xin Hexue ahead finally stopped walking, and Lu Yang felt relieved, “I only have English and Biology homework left.”
He did great, right?
He didn’t sleep during the lunch break and did homework instead.
Xin Hexue said to Lin Oufei, “I have something else to do, you go back first.”
Lin Oufei didn’t show any reaction, and tactfully went home upstairs by himself.
There was a pot of evergreen on the balcony of the third-floor corridor.
The days were getting shorter after autumn. The streetlights along the road lit up, casting scattered shadows of trees between the two of them.
Lu Yang felt something was really wrong.
“Is there something you forgot to tell me?” Xin Hexue looked at Lu Yang calmly.
His expression appeared calm and serene, but Lu Yang felt an inexplicable pressure. His usual boisterous demeanor faded, and his Adam’s apple bobbed slightly, “What?”
Xin Hexue didn’t understand why he would hide this matter. “Miao Ling came to talk to me after school today.”
Lu Yang stood still, his voice lowering, “Hmm, so?”
Why was he so nervous about that letter? Why was he angry with him?
Did he think he had cut the mandarin duck thread?
Did Xin Hexue like Miao Ling?
Just this thought hollowed out a part of Lu Yang’s heart. His flesh spasmed, tightening again and again.
Xin Hexue frowned, “Why did you hide it?”
He hated that Lu Yang lied to him.
Lu Yang had always maintained a state of complete openness with him, meaning this person was completely open to him, was without secrets and was completely loyal.
Xin Hexue enjoyed this state. Although this mentality was somewhat abnormal, Lu Yang’s behavior made him feel as if Lu Yang belonged to him.
Xin Hexue didn’t feel he lacked anything growing up, so he couldn’t trace the origin of this psychological state.
But it was undeniable that only absolute control could give him that extra sense of security.
He knew Lu Yang would never hurt him. To him, Lu Yang wasn’t the concept of a person, but a safe corner, a dark, comfortable cardboard box, an order that was never violated.
But everything changed starting from summer.
…Hesitant speech, evasiveness, vagueness.
Xin Hexue was like a child who loved jigsaw puzzles, but realized after completing the whole picture that the central piece was missing and lost somewhere.
Lu Yang’s change was this unexpectedly lost fragment, like a can nearing its expiration date, or instant noodles that turned out to have already been crushed the moment the package was opened.
This sense of disorder made him very uncomfortable.
Xin Hexue hadn’t thought of a solution yet. For things he couldn’t perfectly solve, he would set them aside temporarily.
He said to Lu Yang, “Give me the letter first.”
In the afternoon, Miao Ling mentioned she had given a letter to Lu Yang last week to pass on. At the time, Xin Hexue’s explanation was that he hadn’t opened and read it yet.
So Xin Hexue’s plan was to resolve the previous matter first; he should write a letter of thanks and rejection after reading it.
Then he would consider the issue with Lu Yang later.
“Gone.” Lu Yang stood in the shadows of the trees, his expression unclear. “I won’t give you that letter.”
Xin Hexue’s frown didn’t ease, “What do you mean, ‘gone’?”
Lu Yang’s throat felt dry, “Think whatever you want. Lost, burned, disappeared.”
The correct answer lay among the three possibilities.
But if Xin Hexue liked Miao Ling, the answer didn’t matter at all.
The absence of one lost love letter wouldn’t affect the outcome.
“But I don’t want to match you two, so I won’t give you the letter.”
Lu Yang stepped back half a step, directly mounted his bicycle, and said with his back turned, “If you like Miao Ling, just agree to her directly.”
“What are you talking about?” Xin Hexue sensed something was wrong, “That was Wu Ke’er…”
But Lu Yang had already ridden to the street corner.
………
The next day, when Xin Hexue sat up from bed, he was hit by a wave of lightheadedness as soon as his feet touched the floor.
Because he was preoccupied with his thoughts yesterday, he had ridden his bicycle a bit faster, and the wind on the road was strong too.
Now his limbs felt cold, and after feeling the temperature of his forehead, Xin Hexue, who had become his own doctor after getting sick often, judged he might have a seasonal cold and fever.
But Zhuang Ping had gone out at four or five in the morning to drive his taxi, and Xin Zhiying was very busy with hospital matters during this period, so there was no one at home. When he went from the bedroom to the living room, only a sticky note informed him there was congee and buns in the pot.
Xin Hexue washed up hastily on the balcony, the cold water on his face causing him to shiver.
Lifting the pot lid, there was lean meat congee and two pork buns.
He had little appetite. He ate only half a bowl of congee, then just drank a glass of warm water to take fever medicine.
After asking Lin Oufei to ask for leave for him, Xin Hexue prepared to change clothes before going to the hospital.
Probably the medicine was taking effect, or the fever was causing weakness in his limbs, Xin Hexue’s hands and feet felt heavy as if filled with lead, and he couldn’t resist shrinking back under the covers to sleep more.
He didn’t know how long he slept. But in his drowsy state, he heard raid knocking sounds from outside.
‘So noisy…’
Xin Hexue turned over, his eyelids sensing the bright light outside.
Was it noon already?
He shrank further into the blankets from the cold, and his heated skin against the sheets felt like rubbing sandpaper.
With a creak, the window pane was pushed open, wind blew in but soon stopped.
A hand pressed against him to check his temperature.
The sound of running water rang out from the bathroom, then came a cool towel.
Xin Hexue couldn’t open his eyelids, as if they were shut with glue, and he grabbed the hand beside him by instinct.
He mumbled incoherently, “Gege…”
“Hey, just call me that.” A familiar voice rang out, pleased and happy, “I’m your Lu Yang gege.”
‘Annoying.’
‘Is he here for a fight?’
The high temperature had turned him into a bad-tempered person with no patience.
Xin Hexue declared hoarsely, “Lu Yang, I’m setting you free.”
After setting the domesticated animal free, he cruelly issued an order, “Now get lost.”
“I’m not getting lost.”
Not only didn’t he leave, but he affectionately clung to him instead.
Even with his eyes closed, Xin Hexue could push away the face coming near.
Taking advantage of Xin Hexue’s dazed state, Lu Yang kissed the inside of his wrist, “Master, you forgot, my name is Stupid Egg, not Get Lost.”
