Friday afternoon was for class changes and the grade-wide cleaning, meaning no classes.
So by Friday morning, the entire second-year student body was already restless, as if enduring almost a full week meant the noon dismissal bell signaled a holiday.
The entire grade reassigning classes was a big operation, and the new seat distribution charts were already posted at each classroom door.
There were many textbooks and materials. Students dragged their entire “families” of belongings to find their new classes, carrying backpacks and satchels. The corridors and stairs were crowded, like an animal migration in the grasslands on a documentary.
“Is there anything else?”
Lu Yang lifted the satchels, one on each shoulder. One was Xin Hexue’s, and the other was his.
He looked like a sturdy, large fluttering moth.
“I can handle these myself.”
Xin Hexue picked up the remaining few books. Their original seats were finally cleared out, and they had to move their things from the second floor to the fifth floor.
The corridors were surging with crowds of people, jostling shoulder to shoulder.
Lu Yang was worried Xin Hexue would feel unwell climbing the stairs, especially since the stairwell was crowded and stuffy. On each floor, he told Xin Hexue to rest. “Are you really okay? Why don’t you wait here? I’ll run up, put the stuff down, and come back to carry what you’re holding.”
Xin Hexue shook his head, “It’s fine, let’s go.”
He said to Lu Yang, “During this year’s physical exam, the doctor said my condition is very optimistic and encouraged me to do more moderate exercise.”
Lu Yang had carried Xin Hexue and run to the hospital many times, and always followed the doctor’s advice faithfully. Sure enough, he stopped nagging.
The crowd on the stairs divided into left and right for up and down, and Lin Oufei moved out of the descending line and took the books from Xin Hexue’s hands.
Lu Yang was surprised, “How did you get here so fast?”
When did Lin Oufei run upstairs, put his books down, and come back down?
Xin Hexue was slightly taken aback, “Thank you. Have you already moved all your things?”
“Mm.” Lin Oufei said, “I took the stairs next to the senior year building.”
No.1 High School had three teaching buildings arranged in parallel, with one for each grade. However, each floor was connected by corridors. Lin Oufei had gone through the corridor to the senior year building, then back to the second-year building. The route was longer, but there were fewer people, so it was actually faster.
Lin Oufei took the books from Xin Hexue’s hands and said as he passed by, “Wu Ke’er is looking for you.”
………
Xin Hexue had received numerous confessions since childhood, most from girls, but also quite a number from boys.
Near the end of elementary school, he received a love letter. Because it was tucked inside his yearbook, he didn’t find it. When he found it later while cleaning out things in junior year, he could barely remember that male classmate’s face, only vaguely recalling that the other party was quite introverted and had transferred back to his hometown for school after his parents divorced in the second semester of sixth grade.
Perhaps because of that boy, when faced with Lu Yang’s direct confession as a same-sex friend, although he was quite shocked, the impact came more from the fact that the confessor was a close friend, rather than from confusion about sexual orientation.
Lu Yang liked men.
He just accepted this fact, the same way he discovered Lu Yang liked to eat spicy instant noodles.
“Good things come in pairs” and “double happiness” were both idioms for fortunate events happening together.
Compared to the noisy East staircase, this corner of the West staircase was very quiet.
The afternoon wind passed by, and a round blue glass window reflected the dancing shadows of trees outside.
Xin Hexue listened patiently to the girl’s confession and apologized, “I’m sorry, you are excellent, but I don’t plan on dating for now.”
Hearing his rejection, Wu Ke’er actually breathed a sigh of relief. “You don’t need to apologize to me.”
The feelings are not the responsibility of the person being confessed to.
“I just wanted to take this chance to tell you.” Wu Ke’er’s face was still red, shy yet bold. “I just wanted to give myself an explanation. Anyway, I chose Arts, so we probably won’t see each other much in the future.”
Wu Ke’er: “Thank you for being willing to listen.”
Xin Hexue’s eyelashes trembled slightly. Although he received confessions frequently, direct face-to-face situations were actually rare. A pink envelope was already a great act of courage. He asked hesitantly, “Can I ask you a question?”
Wu Ke’er, holding her books, asked, “What is it?”
Xin Hexue voiced the doubt in his heart, “What do you like about me?”
Wu Ke’er found the question simple and listed, “You’re good-looking, have fair skin, your grades are top of the year…”
Xin Hexue nodded slowly, “So that’s how it is.”
Wu Ke’er mustered her courage and asked, “You asked me a question, so can I make a request of you?”
Xin Hexue agreed.
Wu Ke’er asked with some embarrassment, “You are the third boy I’ve had a crush on, and I want to keep something as a memento.”
It seemed she had a soft spot for good-looking boys with fair skin and good grades.
Xin Hexue searched his backpack, took a bookmark from between his extracurricular book, and handed it to Wu Ke’er. He apologized again for Lu Yang’s previous actions, but Wu Ke’er said Lu Yang had already apologized and made amends.
She accepted the bookmark, nodded, and said, “Thank you.”
Xin Hexue responded, “I also thank you for your appreciation. I wish you progress in your studies in your new class.”
………
Good-looking, fair skin, top student in the grade…
Upon closer examination, these aspects were indeed something that would lead to a person being popular.
People are visual creatures and admire the strong. So in the student era, a good-looking face and good grades become sources of charm. As one grows up, more social factors might be added.
But ultimately, these were still quite prominent advantages.
Xin Hexue felt he also had shortcomings.
For example… well…
Sometimes… Umm…
There must be some aspects that were flaws.
It seemed not easy for the perfect little cat to admit he also had shortcomings and list them out.
What exactly was liking?
How was it different from admiration?
He believed these advantages all fell within the category of admiration.
One’s view of others is a projection of one’s own heart. Those who liked him for his good grades actually perhaps hoped they could achieve the same level themselves; it was admiration, not liking, let alone love.
The reasons for liking should be more complex, at least they must include shortcomings.
But Xin Hexue wasn’t clear about the specifics. He was still very clueless about this aspect, just as he admitted earlier, he wasn’t a perfect person.
So another interesting question lay before him.
What did Lu Yang like about him?
After putting his backpack on his seat, Xin Hexue took a sip of water and glanced back. Lu Yang was staring at him eagerly from the diagonal corner at the back of the classroom.
Seeing that Xin Hexue had finally noticed his dog in the corner, Lu Yang’s eyes immediately lit up, as if the invisible tail behind him was wagging noisily.
The initial seating arrangement in this new class seemed to be based on grades.
His deskmate was Lin Oufei, and Lu Yang’s deskmate was Tian Fengyu.
Lu Yang walked diagonally across the classroom, crossing most of the classroom. Fortunately, the old and new classmates around were also greeting each other, so his behavior wasn’t conspicuous.
Tian Fengyu and Yu Zao also came over.
Xin Hexue felt strange and asked Yu Zao, “Didn’t you say before you wanted to choose Arts?”
Yu Zao had a blank expression, as if his soul had been gone for a while.
“My mom secretly changed my subject selection form. Now she knows I’m in the same class as you and is so thrilled.”
Xin Hexue didn’t know what to say to comfort him.
Fortunately, Yu Zao’s Arts and Science grades were fifty-fifty, so he could manage with either.
“Xin Hexue, can you use the back door to get water from now on?” Lu Yang asked.
The back door was closer to the water room, but using the front door wasn’t much different. The main point was that this way, Xin Hexue would pass by his seat.
Xin Hexue looked at him suspiciously, “If I don’t use the back door, you won’t help me fetch water anymore?”
His tone lifted slightly at the end, like casting a small hook.
Lu Yang: “Then I’ll come from the back and use the front door. We’re so in tune, how did you know I like taking extra steps?”
Xin Hexue didn’t even need bait when fishing; this big-headed fish would bite even a straight hook and automatically climb up the fishing rod.
This was how it should be.
Whether he liked him or not, Lu Yang had to be his slave, just like before.
Xin Hexue leisurely crossed his arms.
But…
Was it really no different from before?
It seemed a little different too.
After school, he sat on the back seat of Lu Yang’s bicycle on the way back. The sidewalk was bustling and crowded with people, and there were other students sharing bicycles around them, mostly young couples with budding feelings. They seemed out of place among the young couples.
Fortunately, his cold was almost gone, and he could ride his own bike next week.
Xin Hexue tugged at the mask strap behind his ear, his lips unconsciously pressed together.
It was strange. Ever since Lu Yang’s confession, he couldn’t pinpoint what exactly was wrong, but if he didn’t say it, everything felt wrong.
He glanced up at Lu Yang’s ear; it was already as red as a boiled shrimp.
It wasn’t like this before.
He also wouldn’t hesitate repeatedly before asking if they could hold hands.
Xin Hexue felt a bit mischievous. He wanted to blow a breath on the red ear, but on second thought, Lu Yang might steer directly into the roadside ditch.
Forget it. His own safety was more important, and crashing into a ditch would be very embarrassing.
Lu Yang dropped him off at the building entrance, held his bicycle handles, and stammered, “I, I’ll head back first now.”
Before, climbing into Xin Hexue’s room window was as common as eating meals, and he was as familiar with the Xin house as his own home.
But now, it was his beloved’s home, and he became more mindful of etiquette. His feelings made him hesitate, and he stopped at the entrance.
Xin Hexue didn’t think of this, he just realized that something was missing when the three of them weren’t gathered at his house to do their homework together on Friday evening.
Lu Yang broke the original routine. It was like a broken window, which made him uncomfortable.
If he was uncomfortable, Lu Yang should forget about having a good time.
After Xin Hexue finished his shower at night, he logged into QQ and sent Lu Yang a message.
[SNOW: Are you pursuing me?]
[SUN: I’m trying hard!]
[SNOW: I can’t feel it.]
Lu Yang explained desperately.
[SUN: I give you breakfast made with love every day, fetch water for you, fight for food… that’s what it said online…]
But, he had been doing this even before confessing.
He even did it more meticulously and comprehensively than the posts online. Since childhood, he wished he could sharpen every pencil for Xin Hexue.
So what else should he do?
Lu Yang suddenly realized this, and even his typing hands stopped.
He foolishly went to ask.
[SUN: Xin Hexue, what should I do to successfully pursue you?]
[SNOW: You’re stupid.]
[SNOW: Do you raise your hand and ask the teacher questions during exams too?]
Lu Yang understood… but actually understood nothing.
………
Monday was the first group’s turn for duty. They went earlier than usual. Lin Oufei was responsible for sweeping, while Xin Hexue was responsible for tidying the book corner and finally taking out the trash.
After he went downstairs to dump the trash in the large bin and went to the washroom to clean his hands with soap, morning reading had already started in the classroom.
The corridors in the teaching building were filled with the sound of reading aloud.
When Xin Hexue returned to his seat and pulled out his Chinese textbook, something tilted and fell out, landing on the floor with a very faint sound, hidden within the reading sounds in the classroom.
He looked closely.
It was a pressed flower bookmark.
The transparent cold-lamination film had a dried jasmine specimen sealed inside, with pure white petals and dark green leaves, elegant and simple.
Xin Hexue picked it up. There was also a slip of paper on the floor, which he also picked up.
It was a clipped poem…
Jasmine seems
to have no season
In the day in the night
Always blooming small
fragrant buds…
Xin Hexue felt a stir in his heart.
He looked around.
There was nothing unusual, everyone was diligently reading aloud.
A delicate, serene fragrance lingered like a mist, hazy and faint. There was also a sprig of jasmine within the space of his drawer, still bearing dewdrops.
A small, rolled-up note was wrapped around the stem, with Lu Yang’s handwriting: “I’m giving you a jasmine that bloomed on my balcony last night. The moon didn’t know, and my mom didn’t know either.”
Lin Oufei glanced at it casually, but when he discovered the fresh sprig of jasmine, his gaze instantly froze, and his expression suddenly turned very unpleasant.
Xin Hexue tucked all of it away deep into the drawer.
**The poem is from Xi Murong’s “Jasmine”.
