The snow in Beijing this December fell heavily, drifting and swirling like goose feathers falling from the sky.
White snow gathered in the courtyard, weighing down a few twigs of the golden-silver tree outside the window. But these faint sounds couldn’t muffle the alluring ones inside.
On the equally snow-white bed, Zhuang Tongguang had long since climbed onto the bed. He placed his hands on the headboard, his arched shoulders and chest naturally forming a surrounding angle, a distance from which he could lean down to kiss Xin Hexue.
And he indeed did so.
Like the snow outside, warm kisses fell continuously, landing on Xin Hexue’s forehead, nose tip, and lips without pause.
Xin Hexue had no space left to retreat. The pillow sank under the weight of two heads, and the two were as close as infants connected by an umbilical cord.
The bedding was filled with the cold, fragrant scent of shower gel, even the intertwined, sticky breaths took on the fragrance.
“You used my shower gel?” Xin Hexue seized on this discovery, raising a delicate eyebrow.
“What’s the problem?” Zhuang Tongguang looked down, his hand still cradling Xin Hexue’s jaw. “I like the smell of you.”
After saying this, he leaned down and kissed Xin Hexue’s lips even deeper.
His kissing was haphazard. It seemed his mind was so feverish he didn’t even know how to kiss properly, and the constant sucking made Xin Hexue’s mouth ache.
Xin Hexue couldn’t help pinching Zhuang Tongguang’s ear and biting his lip in retaliation.
“Ah…” Zhuang Tongguang winced in pain and pulled back slightly, pressing his lower lip on the spot Xin Hexue had just bitten. He looked down at Xin Hexue, his expression like that of an aggrieved big dog being scolded.
Xin Hexue’s lips glistened with moisture. “And you said you’d teach me?”
Zhuang Tongguang wasn’t discouraged. He saw that Xin Hexue’s attitude wasn’t entirely resistant, which meant he had a chance.
He lowered his head and said earnestly. “Big Brother doesn’t know how. You teach me instead.”
Zhuang Tongguang’s candid attitude was as if they were discussing a math problem, not a shameless elder brother trying to coax his younger brother who already had a boyfriend.
Xin Hexue gave a light chuckle. His bright red tongue tip flickered between white teeth, wet and moist, exuding a startlingly suggestive allure in the moonlight.
Zhuang Tongguang stared at him, almost stunned.
Xin Hexue licked his lips, the layer of moisture on them a silent enticement. “Stick out your tongue.”
He whispered this sentence, then raised his head, making their lips cling together stickily again. Zhuang Tongguang closed his eyes tightly, his tongue slowly prying open Xin Hexue’s teeth.
Once he breached, he began sweeping recklessly and chaotically, as if he wanted to possess all of Xin Hexue’s lips and tongue.
While kissing, Zhuang Tongguang asked breathlessly, “Does kissing like this feel good?”
How is he compared to Lu Yang?
He got no answer, only a soft hum squeezed from the throat.
That should be pretty good, right?
He lowered his dark eyes, kissing Xin Hexue even more deeply.
After a long time, seeing that Zhuang Tongguang showed no sign of stopping, Xin Hexue had to speak up. “That’s enough.”
On hearing this, Zhuang Tongguang propped himself up slightly. Both their lips were a rosy color.
As the kiss ended, Xiao Hei turned over in his dog bed and continued snoring.
Xin Hexue’s lips were slightly swollen. He reached out and stroked Zhuang Tongguang’s earlobe with his fingers, his gentle gaze falling on him and appraising slowly. “Look at you, you’re neither a brother, nor a lover… who made you like this?”
His fingertips traced from Zhuang Tongguang’s earlobe to his jaw, sliding down to the prominent Adam’s apple.
Zhuang Tongguang’s Adam’s apple bobbed down, his eyes dark and gloomy. “I’m sorry. It’s all my fault.”
“What identity will you use when signing the surgical consent form two weeks later?” Xin Hexue asked him.
Boyfriend? Or brother?
Zhuang Tongguang met Xin Hexue’s gaze and lowered his head, his breath reaching the fair neck. He buried his face there, compromising. “Whatever you say. Whatever you say Zhuang Tongguang is to you, that’s what he is.”
Xin Hexue stroked his hair, his voice as soft as a murmur when he spoke, the tail end hooking and flirtatious, filled with a smile, “Such sweet words, gege.”
Zhuang Tongguang’s gaze was fixed on Xin Hexue’s face. Seeing him smile, he involuntarily curved his lips too. “I’ll listen to you.”
But K chose that very inopportune moment to respond: [Mm, I’m here.]
Xin Hexue pretended to be puzzled: [Did someone call you?]
K: [Wait…]
‘Didn’t you used to call me “gege”?’
‘Heh.’
‘Sigh.’
A month’s worth of time seemed to be blown away by K’s sigh.
The train ran, wheels clattering over the tracks from morning till night, occasionally interspersed with the sounds of three or four passengers gathering to play cards. The scenery outside the window changed several times, from dilapidated factories on the city’s edge to the vast plains of the countryside. Distant villages were dotted with the crimson remnants of firecrackers.
It was winter vacation, just over ten days from New Year. The Spring Festival travel rush was very stressful. They hadn’t managed to get sleeper tickets, so they had to sit in their seats for over ten hours from Lingzhou to Licheng. The only consolation was that they secured soft seat tickets.
The original plan for this year was for Xin Hexue and Zhuang Tongguang to go first to Grandma’s house in Licheng. Xin Zhiying and Zhuang Ping would first visit the paternal grandparents, then go to Licheng.
The only variable was that the number going to Grandma’s house changed from two to four, with Lu Yang and Lin Oufei, two uninvited additions, tagging along.
Lu Yang was still fiddling with the scarf he had knitted for Xin Hexue. The scarf still held Xin Hexue’s body warmth, and he couldn’t help rubbing his face against it.
Lin Oufei frowned. His gaze swept over the maroon scarf before shifting to the window, saying seemingly casually. “Don’t you think that scarf is a bit scratchy?”
Lu Yang looked up.
“When Xin Hexue took it off earlier, I saw his neck was red. If you’re giving something like that as a gift, you should pay more attention when selecting the material.” Lin Oufei explained calmly. “Of course, that’s just my personal opinion.”
“That shop owner said this was the best material.” Lu Yang looked him up and down. “What do you know? ‘The gift may be small, but the affection is great.’ Have you ever heard of that? I knitted this myself, and Xin Hexue was clearly happy when he accepted it.”
Lin Oufei rubbed his knuckle. On the middle finger of his left hand was a plain silver ring, shining with a cold glint, making Lu Yang glance at it a few times suspiciously.
Lin Oufei twisted the ring, his expression calm. “The underlying meaning of ‘the gift may be small, but the affection is great’ is that the gift itself is cheap, isn’t it?”
Lu Yang cursed him inwardly for having a mouth that couldn’t say a single decent word. “Can’t you say something nice?”
He naturally had his reasons. “If I spent a lot of money, Xin Hexue would feel bad for me. Besides, my allowance and part-time money are all managed by Xin Hexue. How can I spend recklessly?”
Lu Yang’s face was full of pride about his finances being handled by his boyfriend. Seeing his expression, Lin Oufei felt irritated, and even developed a dislike for the bank card in his own backpack.
He stepped out from the soft seat area, heading towards the junction between carriages where many people without seats were puffing on cigarettes. The restrooms and water dispensers were also there.
Lin Oufei spotted a familiar figure. With a long arm, he blocked Xin Hexue’s way back, and at the same time, he glanced back out of the corner of his eye and saw that Lu Yang, who was sitting further ahead in the carriage, had his back to them and clearly wasn’t paying attention this way.
Xin Hexue was then dragged to a secluded spot by Lin Oufei.
Lin Oufei’s tall frame was enough to shield him. He lowered his head, the corners of his eyes and brows devoid of the earlier sarcasm when faced with Lu Yang. He was quiet, his eyes holding only a faint, inexplicable resentment. “I gave you the ring. Why aren’t you wearing it?”
He used the hand wearing the silver ring to cradle Xin Hexue’s face, his knuckles prominent. His thumb pressed against Xin Hexue’s lips, applying a bit of pressure, kneading the light pink lips into a deeper crimson hue, as if trying to coax out flower nectar.
“Hmm? Why?” Lin Oufei asked in a hoarse voice.
Xin Hexue’s eyes curved. His hand climbed up Lin Oufei’s and his little finger lightly scratched Lin Oufei’s palm, sending a ticklish sensation straight to his heart. Lin Oufei pressed his lips together, Lin Oufei pursed his lips, his attitude softening slightly.
Seizing this opening, Xin Hexue smoothly slipped his fingers between his, their fingers intertwining perfectly. He shook their joined hands, smiling meaningfully. “There are many people on the train. I was afraid it might get rubbed off.”
He pulled Lin Oufei’s hand into the deep pocket of his down jacket. “I have it in here. If you don’t believe me, feel for yourself.”
Lin Oufei didn’t look up. His cool fingers indeed probed in the deep pocket and found the other half of the pair of rings. He asked softly. “Am I just some fling you can only contact on the side? So unwelcome in the light?”
Xin Hexue calmly asked back, “When you chose to do this, you must have expected the current situation. So what explanation are you trying to get from me now?”
Lin Oufei’s expression changed almost imperceptibly in an instant. He curved the corners of his lips into a faint smile, pulling Xin Hexue’s hand out of the pocket and holding it against his own cheek. “I don’t want any explanation. Whether it’s a fling or whatever, it doesn’t matter. I know I’m in your heart, that’s enough.”
Xin Hexue looked at him with a smile, unmoved by the implied grievance in his words. His fingers, however, stroked Lin Oufei’s skin, tracing all the way down to the lower abdomen.
The gaze fixed on him gradually deepened, the eyes holding a crimson hue, churning with desire. His tall, fir tree-like body leaned towards Xin Hexue, as if this was the soil he relied on for survival.
Lin Oufei half-embraced the person. As his lower body was grasped, his brows furrowed. He opened his mouth, releasing suppressed, scorching gasps. “Xin Hexue…”
Xin Hexue’s gaze swept over the people coming and going in the carriage outside, then returned to Lin Oufei’s face. “Are you hungry?”
Lin Oufei’s Adam’s apple bobbed. “Mm.”
Xin Hexue patted him. “Go look for the dining car in the front carriages.”
After saying that, he mischievously left Lin Oufei standing there, uncomfortable and unsettled, while he himself walked away with his head held high and tail wagging.
………
Tickets for soft seats were in high demand, so Zhuang Tongguang wasn’t in their carriage. When Xin Hexue returned to his seat, Lu Yang was sitting idly and gazing out the window.
Seeing him return, Lu Yang’s face brightened.
“Why were you gone so long?” As Xin Hexue sat down, Lu Yang leaned in, took his hands, clasped them before him, and blew warm air on them. A white mist drifted before their eyes. He then carefully rubbed Xin Hexue’s hands. “They’re so cold. The water for washing hands must have been freezing. It breaks my heart.”
He generously tucked Xin Hexue’s hands inside his own collar to warm them.
“There was a line outside the restroom, so I waited a bit longer.”
Xin Hexue explained.
Lu Yang wrapped the scarf around his neck, bundling him up tightly. “I said I’d knit you one with attached mittens…”
Xin Hexue’s eyelid twitched. “Those scarves with two strings for mittens are for little kids.”
“Who says? Who made that rule? The mayor of Lingzhou City?” Lu Yang stiffened his neck. His mind seemed to wander somewhere, and he suddenly let out a silly chuckle. “Didn’t you have a pair when you were little? It was very cute.”
Xin Hexue smiled but didn’t reply. “That’s why I threw it away.”
Sunset came early in winter. The setting sun outside the window had already sunk into the valley.
Lu Yang asked, “Are you sleepy? This train ride will last until tomorrow morning. If you’re sleepy, you can lean on my shoulder and sleep.”
He moved his shoulder a bit, looking at Xin Hexue expectantly.
Xin Hexue glanced at him and obligingly leaned against his shoulder. He heard Lu Yang address the sunset in a poetic tone. “Xin Hexue, does this count as watching the sunset together? We’re so romantic.”
Xin Hexue ignored him, treating Lu Yang like a constantly barking dog. “Haven’t we watched many sunsets before?”
Lu Yang: “That’s different. What was my status before? What’s my status now?”
He wished he could paste the label “Xin Hexue’s boyfriend” on his forehead.
He turned and planted a quick kiss on Xin Hexue, then immediately drew a line in a small notebook he carried. Xin Hexue glanced down and saw it was something like “100 Things Couples Must Do.”
Lu Yang clicked his tongue as he flipped through his “achievements.” Suddenly, his face changed like June weather. “What’s wrong with Lin Oufei? Why is he always clinging to you? It was supposed to be just us going back to see Grandma and Grandpa. He had to tag along.”
“Didn’t you say I could date two?” Xin Hexue straightened up and looked at Lu Yang with a smile.
Lu Yang was bewildered, thinking he was joking. “When did I say that?”
Xin Hexue snorted. “You didn’t say it, but I heard it.”
If he hadn’t overheard their noisy, outrageous thoughts outside the operating room, he probably wouldn’t have decided to stay in this small world a bit longer.
Ultimately, crossing worlds without his memories was a wasted effort.
Xin Hexue shook his head.
………
The moon set, stars faded, and the first rays of dawn appeared. The horizon was a mix of fiery red and white. Nearby breakfast stalls opened one after another, welcoming the bustling crowds emerging from the train station.
Lu Yang held Xin Hexue’s hand with his left, a backpack on his back and some luggage in his right hand. They squeezed out of the carriage amidst the crowd. Seeing Zhuang Tongguang get off from another carriage not far ahead on the platform, he let go of Xin Hexue’s hand as if meeting his father-in-law.
The moment he let go, Zhuang Tongguang, who had stepped forward, naturally took Xin Hexue’s hand. “Let’s go. Grandma and Grandpa must be waiting anxiously.”
“Okay,” Xin Hexue said.
Lin Oufei passed Lu Yang, closely following beside Xin Hexue. Lu Yang lagged two steps behind, staring at Zhuang Tongguang holding Xin Hexue’s hand. His head felt hot and swollen, as if some thought was about to break through the soil.
He remembered the joke Xin Hexue made on the train.
‘Date two? Which two?’
Lu Yang lifted his gaze.
‘Zhuang Tongguang one, Lin Oufei one. Oh oh oh oh.’
