IROAWTMTFL Chapter 22

Zhuang Yiyun drifted off several times during the meeting, involuntarily thinking about the phone call earlier. From the moment he said he wouldn’t be coming home for dinner, Yan Yan remained silent, and he had never seen Yan Yan like that before. The more unusual it was, the more he thought about it, he thought about all the real and imaginary details lingering in his mind.

He couldn’t help but wonder, what expression did Yan Yan have the last time he refused to come home on Christmas Eve? Did the smiling eyes suddenly droop? What was his expression when he ate the meal alone at that table that no one touched? Did he cry while washing the vegetables, or did he cut his hand while chopping? And today? Yan Yan said he was going to make a seafood feast, did he get upset and cry when a crab bullied him when he wasn’t paying attention?

Once a person’s thoughts enter a certain circle, it’s hard to break free. Zhuang Yiyun had never been so absent-minded at a meeting before. He knew today’s meeting was crucial, with a significant deviation between experimental data and predictions. The team from the State Drug Administration was present, and they needed to have a say. But after expressing his own views, he couldn’t stop drifting off. If it weren’t for his usually serious face that made people think he was deep in thought, it would have been incredibly embarrassing.

“Dr. Zhuang, what do you think of this idea?”

Zhuang Yiyun was snapped back to attention but hadn’t heard what the other person was saying. He replied calmly, “We still need further analysis for this idea, and my current opinion isn’t mature.”

This response successfully masked his wandering thoughts. Although meeting minutes could be reviewed after the meeting, they couldn’t replace real-time communication. No one noticed except for Luan Qing, who was sitting beside him. Luan Qing clenched his hand on the keyboard and then relaxed them, pushing his notebook subtly in Zhuang Yiyun’s direction to show the notes he had just taken.

Zhuang Yiyun quickly scanned through the notes and caught up with the pace of the discussion.

The meeting ended after 10 PM, and he rushed home, overtaking cars along the way. He arrived home about one-third faster than usual. However, as he stood at his doorstep, hesitating when reaching for the fingerprint lock, he felt oddly nervous, as if he were a stranger in his own home.

After three seconds of hesitation, he pressed his hand against it, and the lock mechanism turned with a mechanical sound, followed by the door swinging open.

Once again, instead of the warm and welcoming light he expected, he was greeted by darkness.

“I’m home.”

Silence persisted for a minute, and still, no response.

He entered further into the house, and the motion-sensing lights came on, revealing an even colder scene. There was nothing on the dining table. As Zhuang Yiyun walked to the kitchen door, he stepped on a shrimp. They were raw, and several more were scattered across the kitchen floor. He also noticed a batch of live ones still in the sink, those on the floor had jumped out and died.

A dead starfish lay motionless on the cutting board, blood flowing from its body. Its eyes were clouded, and the knife cuts on its body were precise, except for one that had gone slightly awry, as if it was cut with great force. It made Zhuang Yiyun wonder, was Yan Yan cutting fish when he answered the phone?

One had to admit that Dr. Zhuang was clever; he had guessed correctly, and that one crooked cut was the proof.

Besides shrimp and fish, there were also crabs, but these crabs were clearly beyond Yan Yan’s ability to handle. However, they were already dismantled and neatly arranged in their shells, with scattered cheese fragments beside them, but they hadn’t been processed further. Several bowls were lined up, all with pre-cut ingredients. There was a pot on the stove and a frying pan; the frying pan had oil in it, suggesting something was meant to be fried. When he opened the pot, the fragrance of a well-prepared broth wafted out.

Zhuang Yiyun sighed deeply and, on his way out of the kitchen, plucked a wandering French blue lobster from the gaps between the fridge and the wall. He and the blue lobster stared at each other, its two large claws dancing in the air.

“You’re crawling around, and I’m jumping around here with no one to watch.”

He put the blue lobster back in its tank, took out his phone, and called Yan Yan. If he was angry, he could scold him, but it was now quite late.

He dialed the first time, and no one answered. He dialed again, still no response. One more try, and it was the same.

Zhuang Yiyun then switched to sending him a WeChat message. He waited for five minutes, then ten, but there was still no reply. The clock had already passed eleven, and he began to wonder where Yan Yan could be.

Maybe he’ll come back later? Even if he doesn’t answer the phone or reply to WeChat, he should at least read the messages, right? Zhuang Yiyun anxiously waited until midnight. The lights in the neighborhood were gradually dimming, and he stood on the balcony, staring at the entrance, but there was still no sign of Yan Yan.

He couldn’t stay put any longer and decided to go out and find him.

But where should he look? Besides school and home, he didn’t know where else Yan Yan might go. He had only met Yan Yan’s friend, Jiang Li, but didn’t have her contact information. Who else could he ask at this hour? If he called Yan Yan’s parents, or even went to his home directly, it would worry them.

Zhuang Yiyun started his car and realized he had only one known destination: the dormitory building Yan Yan had sent him the location of last time.

It was already too late; the school gate was closed, and no external vehicles were allowed in or out. He had to park his car outside the gate and walk to Yan Yan’s dormitory building. When he arrived at the dormitory building, all the lights were off, and it was pitch dark. Rows of windows were closely packed, and he had no idea which one to look at. He didn’t know Yan Yan’s dorm room number, and the dormitory building’s main door was locked. He reluctantly knocked on the door and called out to the dormitory supervisor.

After a long wait, the dormitory supervisor, awakened and clearly irritated, finally asked, “Who’s knocking on the door so late? Don’t you know there are curfew rules during the holidays? Which dormitory?”

The questioning stopped when the dormitory supervisor saw the man standing outside the door. Tall and mature, dressed in a shirt, tie, dress pants, and a cashmere coat, he clearly didn’t belong to this building. This building was for undergraduate students, and this man exuded none of the youthful aura one would expect.

“I apologize for disturbing you so late, I’m here to find someone.”

“Who are you looking for?” The dormitory supervisor eyed him warily. Nowadays, people wolves can dress up in sheep’s clothing, and coming so late to find someone raised suspicions. Thinking along these lines, the supervisor raised her flashlight to shine on his face. It had been too dark to see clearly before, but now, the light revealed a strikingly handsome face. The supervisor’s attitude softened a bit.

“My… younger brother hasn’t come home, and he’s not answering his phone, so I wanted to see if he’s in the dorm.”

“Which dorm is he in?”

“I don’t know which dorm.” Zhuang Yiyun felt a bit embarrassed saying this.

“You don’t know which dorm your own brother is in? Is he your real brother? What’s his name?”

“Yan Yan. The ‘Yan’ from color and ‘Yan’ as in continuous.”

Upon hearing the name, the dormitory supervisor became more enthusiastic and even smiled. Her attitude made a 180-degree turn. “So, you’re Xiao Yan’s older brother. No wonder you’re so handsome. Were you also a campus heartthrob during your school days?”

“Campus heartthrob?”

“Xiao Yan was selected as the campus heartthrob for four consecutive years. He didn’t tell his family about it?”

Zhuang Yiyun shook his head, not wanting to discuss this further. Furthermore, talking about it would only emphasize his ignorance about Yan Yan. He redirected the conversation.

“Xiao Yan isn’t here. All the seniors’ dorms have emptied out. Those who aren’t interning have already left.”

When he left, Zhuang Yiyun still didn’t know which dorm Yan Yan was in. He turned back towards his car, contemplating where else he could look. He called Yan Yan again, but there was still no answer.

They had been married for two months, and his ignorance about Yan Yan’s life had never bothered him before. However, now he felt utterly wrong. Yan Yan had disappeared, and he didn’t even know where to begin looking. It wasn’t just that; Yan Yan knew many of his preferences, but he didn’t even know what Yan Yan liked to eat. It seemed like he ate anything.

He had said he would help with Yan Yan’s studies and guide him, but he didn’t even know Yan Yan’s academic situation. Yan Yan was in his final year, but was he preparing for a job or further studies? If it was a job, had he found one? The autumn job fair had already ended, and this year’s graduate school entrance exams were over. What was his current situation?

He had also offered to cover Yan Yan’s expenses, but besides buying groceries, Yan Yan barely spent any money. Zhuang Yiyun was walking and stopped in his tracks. When he realized how he had been indulged and accommodated all these days, his heart sank. Yan Yan had been too good to him, to the point where he didn’t need to think. In fact, he hadn’t even realized that Yan Yan didn’t need him and hadn’t revealed any meaningful information to him. Yan Yan was like a program designed exclusively to serve him, with a life trajectory of emotions and experiences. Who knew the life path of joy, anger, sorrow and joy of a program?

It was snowing, and the snowflakes fell gently from the sky. It was the first snowfall of the year in Star City, but the snowflakes melted in Zhuang Yiyun’s palm, and even the watermarks left behind vanished quickly. Just like Yan Yan, he could disappear completely whenever he wished.

Zhuang Yiyun hesitated about whether to go to Yan Yan’s house or not. After thinking it over on the way, he decided not to go for the time being. After all, he was a twenty-one-year-old man, and he wouldn’t get into trouble easily. There was no need to wake up his parents. If Yan Yan was already at home, it was even less necessary.

It was an empty trip to the school, so he could only console himself and wait at home. He hadn’t eaten dinner, and he didn’t know how to cook the ingredients in the kitchen. So, he sealed the ingredients that Yan Yan had already prepared in the refrigerator and resorted to eating a bucket of instant noodles.

After finishing the noodles, he took a shower and sat in the living room, still wearing his pajamas, waiting and reading a book. Snowflakes danced outside the window, and the floor heating maintained a comfortable temperature of over twenty degrees inside. However, his heart felt as cold as the snow falling on the balcony’s railing.

At four in the morning, Yan Yan still hadn’t returned. He checked his watch and realized that his(Yan Yan’s) birthday had passed by four hours, but he didn’t even know where Yan Yan was.

He couldn’t concentrate on reading anymore. He got up, put on his down jacket, and decided to go downstairs to the car to fetch some things. He thought Yan Yan would come back eventually today, so it might be more practical to think about how to apologize to him.

After making two trips back and forth, he had moved everything from the trunk of the car upstairs. These were the birthday gifts he had prepared for Yan Yan. He carried them into the broadcasting room and began working on modifications. This busyness temporarily allowed him to set aside his anxiety and unease. After working for more than two hours, he cleaned up and saw the sky gradually lightening. He got up, left the broadcasting room, and stretched his sore arms. Walking to the glass sliding door in the living room that led to the balcony, he subconsciously looked towards the entrance of the neighborhood.

The snow that had fallen all night had stopped, and the accumulated snow on the ground made the world brighter than usual. Some early risers were heading out, but there were far less than usual. Among the few figures, one person was swaying as he walked into the neighborhood, leaving a trail of reverse footprints on the ground. He walked slowly, holding his head in one hand and swaying every few steps.

The figure resembled Yan Yan, but the person had striking blond hair.

Zhuang Yiyun opened the glass door amd walked to the balcony to get a better look at the person. As he did, the person in the snow looked up. He exhaled into the sky, and the mist lingered on his face before dispersing and revealing an incredibly clear face.

It was Yan Yan.

Zhuang Yiyun didn’t even bother to put on his coat and immediately walked outside. He took the elevator downstairs and, when he reached the lobby, he saw the blonde young man in the snow struggling with the access control system. His face was flushed, clearly from drinking, and he couldn’t stand properly in front of the facial recognition device. Only half of his face scanned, so it couldn’t recognize him, and he became frustrated, punching it in anger.

Zhuang Yiyun immediately opened the access control system from inside the lobby when he heard the sound. Yan Yan looked up when he heard the noise and when he saw Zhuang Yiyun, he smiled. However, the smile suddenly disappeared from his face, and he pointed at him, shouting his name with an accusatory tone, “Zhuang Yiyun…”

He probably wanted to say something, but his mind was muddled, and he couldn’t remember what he wanted to say.

“You bastard!” After a few seconds, he finally managed to utter this insult. He took a few steps forward, appearing as though he might hit Zhuang Yiyun, but his legs gave way, and he tumbled into Zhuang Yiyun’s arms.

Zhuang Yiyun caught him, and the instant their bodies touched, he felt a sudden surge of warmth. Zhuang Yiyun was still in his pajamas, a silky single-layered fabric. It faithfully conveyed the sensation and warmth of the other person. Zhuang Yiyun grabbed Yan Yan’s arm with one hand and circled his waist with the other. Yan Yan’s head hit his shoulder, and his breath scattered on his collar.

“Let’s go upstairs first.” His tone of voice was stiff.

He wanted to let go of Yan Yan and let him walk on his own, but once he had Yan Yan in his arms, Yan Yan refused to leave on his own. Helpless, he could only half-carry, half-drag him Into the elevator. It was just one floor up but had he was already sweating profusely.

As the elevator ascended, his gaze fell on Yan Yan’s hair, and he observed it more closely than ever before. At the roots, there was a small section of black hair that had grown out. It was at least five centimeters longer than his usual chestnut-colored hair, so this was real hair; it was not dyed today. Even someone as unobservant as him realized that Yan Yan had been wearing a wig this whole time.

Yan Yan must have felt uncomfortable because he shook his head on his shoulder, revealing the ear jewelry he had on. Thorn-shaped ear cuffs, diamond studs, and snake-shaped ear cuffs adorned his ears; there wasn’t a single empty piercing. So, any stories about him having many ear piercings due to health issues were probably false.

Zhuang Yiyun took a deep breath, suppressing the emotions that welled up.

Upon entering the warm room, Yan Yan immediately complained about feeling hot. As soon as Zhuang Yiyun placed him on the couch, Yan Yan began to strip off his down jacket. By the time Zhuang Yiyun poured him a glass of water, Yan Yan was left in just a shirt and long pants.

“Zhuang Yiyun, what are you staring at?”

It was the second time he had called his name. Zhuang Yiyun wasn’t sure if it was the result of too much alcohol or if Yan Yan normally called him this way behind his back. Seeing that Yan Yan could barely stand, Zhuang Yiyun couldn’t restrain his rising anger. Drinking all night and not coming home, telling lies and wearing a wig all this time – was he playing him for a fool? He stayed awake all night, did he find his concern a joke?

He slammed the glass onto the table and while he was contemplating how to handle the situation, Yan Yan suddenly stood up. When he had been carrying him upstairs, Yan Yan didn’t seem to have the strength to do so.

Yan Yan raised an eyebrow, and his fingers found their way to the button on his pants. The slender and nimble fingers undid the button in seconds.

“I get it now. You like seeing me in just a shirt… with my legs bare.”

Yan Yan said this as he pulled on the shirt and made a move towards Zhuang Yiyun. Zhuang Yiyun took a closer look and realized that Yan Yan was wearing his shirt.

‘Fuck!’ An unprecedented curse escaped out of Dr. Zhuang’s lips.