“?”
Fu Sang genuinely had no idea where this person got so many inexplicable things to say all day long.
“So what kind of answer do you want to hear from me?”
Fu Sang sneered.
“‘I like you too,’ or ‘Get lost’?”
“I’m not saying this to you because I necessarily want an answer.”
Zhuge Qi seemed completely unable to hear the sarcasm and mockery in Fu Sang’s words. Or perhaps he heard them but simply didn’t care.
“I just wanted to share it with you. I want to tell you how I feel.”
“But I don’t want to hear what you have to share, and I don’t need your useless affection.”
“Whether you need it is your decision. Whether I give it to you is my choice.”
Zhuge Qi had figured it out. Fu Sang was very unaccustomed to hearing gentle kindness and affection directed specifically at him from someone else. It was probably because he didn’t know how to respond to it or repay it, so he instinctively raised his thorns to drive people away.
Saying the opposite of what he meant and refusing to admit his feelings were both bad habits.
Ordinary people would probably stop approaching him after being rebuffed twice. But for some reason, Zhuge Qi had no desire to distance himself from him at all. Instead, he really wanted to brush aside the thorns covering Fu Sang and see the softness hidden in the deepest part of his heart. Even if he could only see it once, that would be enough. And if possible, he wanted to give him another hug.
This was the proof Zhuge Qi had discovered that he liked him.
Actually, he wasn’t quite sure where this affection of his came from. After all, the two of them had only exchanged names a few hours ago and had known each other for less than a day. Zhuge Qi also wondered whether these feelings had come too quickly and inexplicably.
But then he thought, nobody stipulated that everything in the world had to happen gradually.
Perhaps when Fu Sang kicked open the interrogation room door and suddenly appeared, when he grabbed him by the collar and kissed him, or perhaps even earlier, when he lifted his veil and entered his world, his life became inseparable from those beautiful eyes.
Perhaps loving him was an instinct that came from deep within his soul.
And Zhuge Qi gladly accepted these feelings.
“Fu Sang, I won’t hurt you. So please don’t keep trying to push me away just because you resist affection and love, alright?”
“…”
Talking to Qi Changying really was boring, and there was no sense of accomplishment in it either.
It was as if you put all your strength into punching him, wanting to make him hurt a little, only for him to remain completely unharmed. Not only did he gently dissolve all your force, he even handed you a beautiful flower.
Fu Sang frowned and turned his gaze away.
“Are you following me just to say these boring things?”
“Not exactly.” Zhuge Qi answered honestly.
“I just don’t know where to go. I’ve never left the Xuangu Mountain Range, so I don’t know how to live outside or how to get back. The only person I know is you, so I have no choice but to follow you.”
Hearing this, Fu Sang raised an eyebrow slightly.
“What, do you want me to take you back?”
“…” Zhuge Qi thought about it and decided to be completely honest.
“I want you to take me in.”
“?” Fu Sang crossed his arms and looked Zhuge Qi up and down, a hint of amusement in his eyes.
“Why should I?”
“I haven’t thought of a reason yet.”
Zhuge Qi lowered his eyes and smiled.
“…If I absolutely have to give one reason, they said I used to spend every day in the ancestral hall, hardly ever taking a single step outside it. But now the ancestral hall has become a pile of ruins, and I have nowhere to go. To be honest, deep down, I don’t really want to return either, because the family estate is actually quite unfamiliar to me. I only feel a little more at ease when I’m by your side.”
These words reminded Fu Sang of something.
Now that Zhuge Heng and Zhuge Lin were both dead, without even leaving ashes behind, there was no one left to interfere with or control Zhuge Qi’s movements. He was free. Although he said he had nowhere to go, the truth was that he could go wherever he wanted. But his identity as the main family’s Shaosi was still conspicuous and could easily attract unnecessary trouble. The Spirit Supervision Bureau’s officers today were an example.
And the person standing before him was gentle as cotton, with a temperament that made him unwilling to resist. If someone developed improper intentions toward him, he might not arrive in time as he had today.
This was someone he unexpectedly lost and then regained, and he would not accept anything else happening to this person or anyone else coveting him.
The simplest, if somewhat crude, way to prevent anything unexpected from happening was to keep him tied to his side and watch him at all times.
He would take over the authority from that old bastard Zhuge Heng, reclaim the freedom he had briefly obtained, and change his identity from “the main family’s Shaosi” to “his possession.”
“You want to enter my home?” After thinking for a moment, Fu Sang raised an eyebrow and asked.
“Mm.” Zhuge Qi nodded, then emphasized:
“I want to be with you.”
…
Xuangu Mountain Range.
The person holding authority over the Zhuge family’s main household was now Zhuge Mingya. As Zhuge Mingya’s eldest son, Zhuge Buhuo naturally had to help his mother with everything and take care of the miscellaneous matters she couldn’t attend to.
For example, arranging accommodation for relatives and friends whose houses had collapsed in the disaster at Cui Xing Gate.
The main family’s large residence was located in the central area of the mountains. Other villages and residences were scattered around its outskirts. Some were places where members of the inner and outer clans lived together, while others were schools and dormitories specifically established for the younger generation.
It was already the twenty-first century. Not many people were willing to cling to old ways and live in these remote mountains, where transportation was inconvenient, the signal was poor, and there were plenty of mosquitoes and insects. So there were quite a few vacant houses in the mountains, and finding places for the main family’s people to stay was an easy task.
Originally, Zhuge Buhuo and Huo Wei were handling this tedious work together. But today, Huo Wei said she hasn’t been home in too long and needed to go back for a visit. So she left early, leaving Zhuge Buhuo alone to count supplies and compile the names of people. He was busy for most of the day and was exhausted.
“Brother Buhuo!”
Just as Zhuge Buhuo was sitting on a rock resting, someone called out to him from nearby.
He looked over and saw that it was one of the young guards assigned to watch Zhuge Qi. They had met before when he was asking around for information about Zhuge Qi.
“Why are you back?”
Zhuge Buhuo was taken aback.
“Zhuge Qi was arrested by the cops. Weren’t you implicated?”
“No. The cops were after the Shaosi. We lowly servants were released after being asked a few questions.”
“What about Zhuge Qi? Is he still locked up?”
“No. The Shaosi has already been brought out by that fierce little guy with red eyes. That guy was so arrogant and impressive. I watched with my own eyes as he strode in to rescue him, with the head of the officers right behind him. I heard he even kicked a door down.”
“Ha… That’s exactly what he’s like.”
Although he said this, Zhuge Buhuo was secretly worried.
He even dared to kick down the door?
Zhuge Fusang was getting more and more unrestrained. Wouldn’t he end up being locked up for seven days?
Thinking this, Zhuge Buhuo came back to his senses and asked:
“What about Zhuge Qi? Didn’t he come back with you? He has nowhere to stay, and as it happens, I’ve prepared an empty room for him and already tidied it up. Once he gets back, I’ll take him over and show him around.”
“Oh… The Shaosi didn’t come back with us.”
“Why? Where could he go on his own if he didn’t come back with you?”
“I said the same thing. The brothers were waiting for the Shaosi outside the headquarters the whole time, since our duty was to keep an eye on him. But after the Shaosi came out, he told us to go back first. He said we should all disperse and stop looking after him from now on. We thought about it, and he was right. The old family head is gone. Nobody is giving us orders or paying our wages anymore, and the Shaosi is conscious now. There’s no need for a whole group of people to surround him wherever he goes. But he doesn’t have a phone, money, or an ID, so we were worried he wouldn’t have anywhere to go. We asked whether we should bring him back first or leave him some money…”
“And then?”
“Then the Shaosi said there was no need. He said he had someone he wanted to find and told us not to worry about him. So we all came back.”
“.”
The more Zhuge Buhuo listened, the stranger it seemed.
Someone he wanted to find?
Who could that be? It was hard to guess.
Then he remembered what Huo Wei told him: “Fu Sang has already started eating his substitute.”
It had all happened so quickly. He thought it was forced, but after all that, it turned out both parties were willing?
Was Zhuge Qi really suffering from amnesia?
Could this just be another trick by this pair of lovers?
“…Alright, then we don’t need to worry about him… Tsk…”
Halfway through his sentence, Zhuge Buhuo suddenly stopped.
He narrowed his eyes slightly and stared at the particularly conspicuous stone door standing amid the ruins of the main family residence, lost in thought for a moment.
When he spoke again, he inexplicably changed the subject.
“Did you notice that something seemed to flash behind that door just now?”
“W-what?” On hearing this, the young guard got goosebumps.
“Brother, don’t scare me…”
“Tsk, why would I scare you!”
Zhuge Buhuo kept staring at the crack in the Cui Xing Gate, which had split open to a width of two people, but he didn’t see anything unusual again.
He muttered:
“Why do I feel like I saw a flash of red light behind that door…”
…
Fu Sang took Zhuge Qi home.
He originally planned to go to Blind Cat Alley to tidy up the shop and prepare to open for business tomorrow. But then the Spirit Supervision Bureau incident suddenly interrupted his plans, and he picked up another person along the way. The reopening was put on hold, costing Fu Sang at least one day’s worth of income. He would have to add that debt to Zhuge Qi’s account.
The apartment Fu Sang rented wasn’t very large. The upstairs bedroom had been converted from an attic, and a person couldn’t even straighten their back when going up there. The downstairs was cramped too, and the entire little house could be taken in at a glance.
However, Fu Sang originally rented this place because it was convenient for attending school. Occasionally, Huo Wei would come to visit him, sit for a little while, and then leave. She never stayed long, so it was suitable enough for him to live alone.
Later, he acquired a ghost. A ghost didn’t take up space. When it had nothing to do, it would hide inside the nail on its own and stay out of the way. So Fu Sang never felt there was anything wrong with the apartment.
Until now, when the ghost turned into a person and was living with him in this little house. For the first time, Fu Sang felt that the place had become cramped and crowded.
He thought perhaps he really should take Huo Wei’s advice, treat himself a little better, spend some more money, and move to a slightly larger apartment.
Too many things had happened during this winter break. Fu Sang travelled from the eastern part of the map to the south, then from the south to the northwest. He died once and came back to life, losing many days in the process.
Now that school will start again in just a few more days, he decided to catch up on his research report and thesis while he still had some free time.
Fu Sang sat on the sofa with his battered computer, working on his writing. Seeing that he was busy, Zhuge Qi didn’t disturb him.
He gathered up the cinnabar beads he had dropped on the sofa and floor at noon, sweeping them into a pile. Then, after getting Fu Sang’s permission, he went upstairs to have a look.
Who would have thought that once he went up, there would be no further movement? He didn’t come back down.
This made it difficult for Fu Sang to concentrate on his thesis. He kept glancing toward the stairs. When he finally came to his senses, he realized that half an hour had passed and he hadn’t even finished a single section. He decisively gave up, closed his computer, and went upstairs.
Upstairs, Zhuge Qi was sitting by the bed, his head lowered as he read a copy of The Biography of Qi Changying’s Northern Expedition that Fu Sang had placed on the bedside table with a bookmark inside.
Hearing the sound, he raised his eyes and glanced over.
“Fu Sang, are you done studying?”
“No. Studying is boring.” Fu Sang raised an eyebrow slightly.
He directly grabbed Zhuge Qi by the neck and leaned toward him.
“Kissing is more interesting.”
Sometimes, Zhuge Qi felt that this world was truly wonderful.
He had only seen this person for the first time yesterday morning, yet now he was holding his waist and kissing him so passionately that neither wanted to part.
Fu Sang had a strong desire for control, whether over people or things. Kissing was no different. He liked to have absolute dominance. When to kiss deeply or lightly, when to begin and when to stop, all of it had to be decided by him.
Zhuge Qi didn’t compete with him over these things. He was willing to obey and submit to him, so he indulged him and let him do as he pleased.
“Your room has a lot of things related to Qi Changying.”
During a break after they had grown tired of kissing, Zhuge Qi leaned against the headboard while Fu Sang sat astride him.
They were very close. Fu Sang heard Zhuge Qi ask softly in a slightly hoarse voice:
“Do you like him very much?”
“I don’t.” Fu Sang denied it without even thinking.
“Then why have you collected so many things related to him and filled your entire bedroom with them?”
“What’s it to you?”
“You only want to learn about someone and possess everything related to them if you like them. I like you, so I want to understand you, Fu Sang.”
Zhuge Qi pressed his warm lips lightly against Fu Sang’s.
“I’ve noticed that you really like saying the opposite of what you mean. You always deny your feelings, but deep down, you don’t actually think that way. When you say you don’t like him, it means you do.”
“So now you understand everything?” Fu Sang gave a very soft sneer.
“Not enough yet.” Zhuge Qi’s lips curved slightly.
“Then do you like me, Fu Sang?”
“…”
What a shrewd person. In just a few sentences, he had blocked both possible answers: yes and no.
Fu Sang didn’t like being led into a trap like this.
He hated Zhuge Qi acting as though he understood his thoughts and behavior, lecturing him from a position of superiority.
“I heard that a few days ago, the gate that released countless resentful spirits and turned the main family into ruins almost suffered complete destruction. In the end, a Crimson Evil sacrificed himself to stop that catastrophic disaster. Afterward, you jumped into the gate with him, so everyone thought you were dead.”
“…”
“Was his name Qi Changying?”
“…”
“You like him a lot, don’t you? So much that you’re willing to die with him?”
“…”
“I look a lot like him, right? You said I looked like someone you hated, but actually, that wasn’t hatred. You like him very much. You said you hated him, but you only hated him for abandoning you for the greater good. So, when you saw me, someone who looked so much like him, you took your anger out on me, yet you kissed me. When I was in danger, you came to save me. You refuse to admit that you say one thing and mean another, but Fu Sang, the mouth can lie, the body cannot.”
“That’s right.” Hearing this, Fu Sang suddenly laughed.
He raised a hand, grabbed Zhuge Qi’s chin, and looked into his eyes.
“You do look a lot like him. So what? Whether I like or hate him, whether I love or resent him, that’s between him and me. What does it have to do with you? Do you think you’re that important? I just saw that you looked like him, so I decided to use you as a substitute, have a little fun, and relieve my boredom. What do you think you are?”
Those were hurtful words once again.
Fu Sang once again stabbed through Zhuge Qi’s sincere and gentle analysis with a knife.
Fu Sang thought that even the most shameless person in the world shouldn’t continue asking questions after hearing those words, right?
He should push him away, go downstairs, and leave. That would be the normal thing to do.
But…
But Zhuge Qi didn’t.
He merely lowered his eyes slightly. When he spoke again, his voice was even gentler than before.
He asked:
“…Did he love you properly?”
“…”
Fu Sang froze.
He opened his mouth. He wanted to say, Are you really that shameless? But the words remained between his teeth, and in the end, he couldn’t bring himself to say them.
“Actually, you think I’m him, right?”
Zhuge Qi gently removed Fu Sang’s hand from his chin. Then he raised his arms and drew Fu Sang into his embrace, holding him tightly against his body.
“I don’t know whether I am him. I don’t have those memories. I only know that I liked you so much from the first moment I saw you. I don’t know what happened between the two of you, but I don’t mind if you treat me and him as the same person. You can take anything you once received from him from me. And anything you never received, as long as you want it and ask, I’ll do my best to give it to you.”
“If I’m him, then I would say: I didn’t mean to abandon you. I’m back. Although I’ve forgotten so, so many things, I remember that I love you very much.”
“If I’m not him, then I would say: Fu Sang, please stop testing me and pushing me away, alright? I won’t leave you. I’ll love you even more than he did.”
“…”
Fu Sang was held tightly in Zhuge Qi’s arms.
He could feel Zhuge Qi burying his face in the hollow of his neck and speaking these words earnestly to him. Every sentence made his heart tremble uncontrollably and strangely.
That trembling also spread all the way to his fingertips.
Fu Sang slowly raised his hand. His cold fingers slipped into Zhuge Qi’s hair, then gradually tightened their grip.
He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.
The scent of lilies enveloped his soul.
After a long while, he slowly opened his eyes, looking somewhat distracted.
“Do you know…”
When Fu Sang said these words, he barely made a sound.
Naturally, Zhuge Qi didn’t hear him either.
“…Qi Changying, I wanted to let you go.”
That night, the last words Qi Changying left Fu Sang amid the surging storm of resentful energy were that he loved him very much.
But Fu Sang didn’t believe him.
How could he believe it?
He said he loved him, yet he broke the ghost-blood thread one by one and walked toward his death without looking back.
He said he loved him, yet he resolutely left him behind.
Even though he knew this journey would lead to certain death, he walked away with such determination.
So Fu Sang wondered whether all of this was actually Qi Changying’s scheme.
Did Qi Changying hate him so much that he would rather use the method of completely turning to ashes to escape him forever? And even on the verge of death, he told him he loved him just to make him feel guilty, suffer, and be left completely confused?
Ridiculous.
He won’t be sad.
He won’t suffer.
He was only a ghost. How important could he possibly be?
Later, Fu Sang saw that face once again among the ruins deep in the mountains.
He had turned from a ghost into a person and forgotten everything.
Actually, Fu Sang genuinely considered letting it go.
This guy had already died twice. He hated him so much that he probably wouldn’t want to become entangled with him again.
If one day he remembered everything and discovered that even after becoming human and losing his memories, he still couldn’t escape the fate of falling back into his hands, he would probably choose to die a third time without hesitation.
…Let it go. Just let it go.
A thousand years ago, turning into a ghost and forcibly remaining in this world wasn’t Qi Changying’s choice. A thousand years later, being forcibly kept by his side wasn’t Qi Changying’s choice either.
This person has always been forced into things and has never had a choice.
So Fu Sang genuinely considered letting him go this time.
But before he could make up his mind, Qi Changying delivered himself to his doorstep.
Looking at him with those gentle eyes that he hated the most, saying that he wanted to get to know him, saying that he liked him, wanted to submit to him, and then held him and said he loved him.
Fu Sang clearly thought about letting him go, yet this person personally handed him the chains again.
Perhaps Qi Changying didn’t lie.
Perhaps he really did love him.
But why did his heart still hurt so much?
Was love actually such a painful thing?
The attic lights were off. In the dim darkness, something glimmered faintly before quietly falling, the drop going unnoticed by anyone.
After that, Fu Sang lifted his face and silently blinked. Only after a moment did he speak.
“What did you say just now? That I can take anything I want from you?”
“Mm.”
After receiving his answer, Fu Sang released Zhuge Qi and reached into the bedside table, taking out a bundle of red cords.
He untied the bundle, separated two cords, and silently used them to bind Zhuge Qi’s wrists. Then he tied both his hands to the headboard.
Zhuge Qi looked puzzled but didn’t resist. Only after Fu Sang finished did he try moving his hands.
Fu Sang had tied them tightly. He couldn’t move them or break free.
“He was a ghost. I never got to sleep with him.”
Fu Sang lifted Zhuge Qi’s chin, making him stop examining the ropes and ensuring that those eyes could only look at him.
“Now, I want you.”
Fu Sang lowered his head and kissed Zhuge Qi. This time, his kiss was meticulous and gentle. Perhaps he had learned it from Zhuge Qi, or perhaps it was because his mind was distracted.
He was openly using his own body to tease Zhuge Qi’s body and stir his desire.
Only after Fu Sang clearly felt the changes in Zhuge Qi’s body did he slowly draw away, rubbing his lips against Zhuge Qi’s before leaving him.
“Speak.”
Fu Sang held his neck and lowered his head, using the tip of his tongue to lick away the moisture at the corner of his lips.
“Do you want to make love to me?”
