There was no denying that every word Shen Huarong said was reasonable.
Qi Changying understood what he meant. He wanted to remind him that since Su Li had been sent by the emperor, they couldn’t easily send him away. Therefore, they had to distance themselves from him as soon as possible.
The power this child displayed was too great and too terrifying.
He was an excessively sharp blade. If they couldn’t sheathe him, then at the very least, they couldn’t let people think he belonged to Qi Changying.
In other words, the blade could exist, but everyone had to be equally wary of it. It had to remain beautifully displayed in the place where it belonged, like a symbol, intimidating everyone equally and making them feel the same mixture of reassurance and unease. Only then would things be fair.
Once this blade, which could cut through iron and sever metal, was influenced by another seemingly ordinary person or even held in that person’s hand, the scales would tip. All kinds of suspicion and attacks would follow one after another.
Others might not dare to confront the blade directly, but they would dare to direct all their anger at the person holding it.
Although the people in the military camp who knew about this were all members of the Qi Army, brothers who had fought shoulder to shoulder and trusted one another, Shen Huarong didn’t want to gamble on human nature with the bonds of brotherhood. Matters of life and death were no game. He had to consider the worst possible outcome.
There would be harsh rumors, malicious schemes, and all kinds of obstacles, both open and hidden. Once the news reached the emperor’s ears, Qi Changying and even the entire Qi family would face suspicion…
Fortunately, it wasn’t too late. Qi Changying could still take steps to limit the damage and avoid these foreseeable consequences.
Qiyueban was originally sent by the emperor to the northwestern military camp as a lucky mascot. As long as they let him return to this role and restored their relationship to one of superior and subordinate, everything Shen Huarong worried about could be avoided.
Although these words sounded somewhat cold, Shen Huarong’s intentions were good. He was thinking of Qi Changying and the Qi family. He didn’t want Qi Changying to become a target for everyone, nor did he want him to become entangled in unnecessary trouble because of his kindness.
He had spent more than a year with Su Li. It wasn’t that he had no feelings for the boy, nor did he want to become estranged from him and turn into a complete stranger, treating him only as the emperor’s stabilizing force stationed at the northwestern military camp and respectfully addressing him as Lord Qiyueban.
But in Shen Huarong’s heart, Zhuge Suli could never compare to the bond he shared with Qi Changying since they were children.
“…”
Qi Changying frowned slightly but didn’t respond.
At that moment, a sentence Qi Boming had once spoken with a sigh surfaced in Shen Huarong’s mind again.
—“Changying is sentimental and too soft-hearted. It’s not that these qualities are bad, but they really shouldn’t exist in a general. In the future, I hope you’ll give him more guidance from the side. Otherwise, his softness will sooner or later become a knife that others thrust at him.”
Shen Huarong no longer remembered how many years ago this had happened. He had even forgotten when, where, and under what circumstances Qi Boming had said those words. Everything about that time had grown blurry, but this one sentence had been clearly engraved in his heart.
Now that he thought of it again, Shen Huarong felt for the countless time that Qi Boming’s words might truly become a prophecy.
“Where’s that kid?”
While the two were silent, Qi Boming’s voice came from the side.
Qi Changying instinctively looked toward the sound and saw that Qi Boming had already removed his armor. He was wearing only a dark red inner garment belonging to the Qi Army.
Thick bandages wrapped around his shoulder and waist, with faint traces of blood seeping through beneath them.
“Father!”
Qi Changying’s heart skipped a beat.
“Are you injured…?”
“It’s a minor injury. Nothing to worry about. I’ve been on the battlefield countless times. Why are you making such a fuss?”
As he spoke, Qi Boming gave two muffled coughs.
“…We’ve received word from our informants. Tonight, the losses suffered by Chaosu weren’t limited to the troops that raided Chifeng Pass. Their Kalona military camp and the garrison at the Zhankule Mountain Pass… nearly sixty thousand soldiers at those two locations are all dead. Not a single survivor.”
After a pause, Qi Boming looked into Qi Changying’s eyes and continued.
“There’s also a situation involving the civilians…”
Hearing this, Qi Changying’s heartbeat stopped for an instant.
For a moment, he almost forgot to breathe.
The wind and snow that had raged all night quietly stopped at some point, and the world was unusually silent.
Qi Changying curled his fingers. He stood like a cold, hard statue, waiting for Qi Boming’s next words.
“…A dozen or so sheep have died. As for everything else… there are no abnormalities for now.”
“…”
Qi Changying couldn’t describe how he felt.
Was he grieving and lamenting the sixty thousand deaths, or was he relieved that the incident hadn’t affected the civilian population?
“I won’t comment too much on this matter. I’ll leave its handling entirely to you. Whatever the outcome, I won’t interfere again.”
Qi Boming gazed solemnly at Qi Changying.
“One day, you will have to take over the burden I carry, Qi Changying. You must learn to be ruthless toward war and those who direct it.”
If Shen Huarong was just advising him on the attitude he should adopt toward Su Li in the future, then Qi Boming’s words were a reminder of how he should view tonight’s events as a military commander.
Indeed, Great Li and Chaosu were enemies. Chaosu launched a night raid on Chifeng Pass, only to fail and suffer a heavy defeat. From their perspective, this was certainly something to celebrate and applaud.
Qi Changying also knew that, at this moment, he should feel fortunate. He should even begin thinking about how to make good use of Qiyueban’s abilities to change, or even overturn, the situation.
But…
After this night, there were too many decisions he needed to make.
He knew clearly what he ought to do, but another voice in his heart kept denying the correct answers his reason had laid out for him.
Whether Zhuge Suli or Qiyueban, they were both human beings, not monsters. They should not be subjected to prejudice, exclusion, or special treatment.
Whether Great Li or Chaosu, they were both made up of people. Neither side deserved to be oppressed, slaughtered, or ravaged by war.
Perhaps he really was wrong. Born in this era and into this position, kindness was the most useless thing of all.
“…I’ll go see him.”
After remaining silent for a long time, Qi Changying uttered only this sentence. Then he cupped his fists in a salute to Qi Boming, turned, and left.
Shen Huarong watched him, wanting to follow, but Qi Boming raised a hand to stop him.
“Let him think it over himself.”
“If you leave him alone, he’ll think and think until he softens again. Don’t you know him by now?”
Shen Huarong was so anxious that he kept stamping his feet.
“I’d like to see just how softhearted he can be, and to what extent.” Qi Boming looked at Qi Changying’s retreating figure, his eyes deep and solemn.
“Rather than worrying every day about whether his temperament will hinder him in the future, it’s better to settle the matter now. Is his kindness a burden, or is it the benevolent heart that anyone who hopes to accomplish great things must have?”
“…” Shen Huarong pressed his lips together and was just about to say something when he noticed that the bloodstain beneath Qi Boming’s bandages had grown even darker.
“Uncle, your injury…”
The night was so dark that no one noticed how unusually pale Qi Boming’s face was.
When he spoke again, his voice was slightly hoarse.
“…It’s nothing.”
After tonight’s battle, the entire camp was brightly lit. The survivors dared not slack off. People hurried back and forth, all busy dealing with the aftermath of the night raid. Whenever they passed Qi Changying, they would stop, salute, and address him as “Young General.”
Qi Changying, however, was somewhat absent-minded. He didn’t pay attention to who he encountered along the way or what he heard them say.
By the time he came back to his senses, he had already arrived near Su Li’s tent.
Several people were gathered outside. Only when Qi Changying approached did he realize that they were several military physicians and Su Pingbei, whom he had assigned to look after Su Li.
“Young General!” Su Pingbei was the first to notice Qi Changying. Seeing this, the military physicians hurriedly followed suit and saluted.
Qi Changying composed himself and quickly stepped forward to ask, “How is he? Is he all right?”
“This…” The military doctors exchanged glances. In the end, the oldest doctor stepped forward and said,
“His injuries are rather peculiar. There is no damage to his flesh or skin; all the injuries are internal. His breathing is weak and erratic. Our medical skills are inadequate. We’ve examined him for a long time but still haven’t been able to determine the cause, and we don’t dare administer medicine recklessly. We truly… have no idea what to do.”
“I understand. Tonight’s events happened suddenly, and there are still many injured people in the western district. Please go and examine them. Leave this place to me. Thank you for your hard work.”
“No, no, we wouldn’t dare claim otherwise!”
Since they were all in the same camp, the military doctors naturally knew that their Young General was an unusually humble and unpretentious man with a good temperament. Even so, whenever he treated them with such courtesy, they still felt apprehensive.
“These are our duties as subordinates. There’s no need for you to be so courteous, Young General. We’ll be going then”
“Mm.” Qi Changying nodded. Then he lowered his eyes slightly. After hesitating for a moment, he stepped into the tent.
Several charcoal braziers had been lit inside, making the temperature no less than that in midsummer. However, the person on the bed seemed to feel cold. He was wrapped completely in a soft fur blanket, and his body was trembling.
Qi Changying frowned and approached. He intended to raise a hand to feel the temperature of Su Li’s forehead, but before he could touch him, the person on the bed suddenly sat up.
Su Li threw off the blanket, lowered his head, and leaned over the edge of the bed, violently spitting out a large mouthful of blood.
It was black.
“Are you all right…?”
“Get lost!”
Su Li flung his hand away forcefully, refusing to let Qi Changying approach.
He raised his eyes and glared at him. There was a hint of resentment in his gaze, like a beast lurking in the jungle, hating its prey, the prey it wanted to tear apart and devour, but was unable to find a way to strike.
“…Qi Changying… Qi Changying! Could you please stop wandering around in front of me? Could you stop getting in my way under the delusion that you know what’s best?! Who do you think you are? Do I need your approval for everything I do?! Who gave you the guts? Who gave you the right?! Could you stop being an eyesore in front of me?!
“When will you finally understand that I’m Qiyueban, not some child who needs to be looked after and cared for?! Put away that nauseating saintly heart of yours. It disgusts me! It disgusts me!!
“I want to kill people. I want to kill every single person I can’t stand! What gives you the right to stop me? Who do you think you are?! When the Chaosu people invaded the Central Plains and massacred villages, you were filled with righteous indignation and rushed to the front lines. So what is it now? When I repay them in their own coin, suddenly you can’t bear it? Suddenly I’m an eyesore to you? Whose side are you on, exactly? Which side do you want to win? What, are you Qi Changying, some heavenly god who cannot bear to see slaughter and has descended to the mortal world specifically to save all living beings?! You…!”
Su Li had been holding back his anger for a long time, with nowhere to vent it.
He knew what price he had to pay for killing people. Everything he was suffering now was something he deserved. He wasn’t angry about the pain he was enduring. Something else was infuriating him.
He couldn’t understand it, much less accept it.
He was clearly defending Chifeng Pass, helping Qi Changying, and slaughtering the brutal invaders whom this man hated most. What right did Qi Changying have to stop him?
Why didn’t all the negative things he had shown so far driven this person away? Why, no matter how terribly he treated him, did Qi Changying still persistently try to approach him again and again, attempting to change him with his own theories?
And now, just as he was enduring agonizing torment and the fire of anger in his heart had reached its peak, this person came rushing over, seemingly without any regard for his own life.
Since this person can remain soft-hearted no matter how he was treated, then he could be even more unscrupulous in stinging and hurting him.
He used the harshest words he could think of at that moment to attack Qi Changying, hoping the man would feel humiliated and furious, turn around, and leave as soon as possible. He didn’t want him hanging around when he was in such a miserable and vulnerable state, provoking him and making him even more irritated.
But…
But, he had failed to drive Qi Changying away in countless similar situations before.
This time was no different.
The difference was that this time, Qi Changying didn’t try to approach him again with gentle words of comfort. Instead, he simply stood there in silence, without saying a word.
It felt as though a huge hand were stirring the nerves, bones, and flesh throughout Su Li’s body into a tangled mess. Countless insects seemed to be crawling all over him, moving through every part of his body and biting away at his skin, one mouthful at a time. Every inch of pain was so clear.
This was the price of bearing the consequences of his evil deeds.
As his master said: it is a pain that makes life unbearable, the heart is scorched by raging flames, and bones are eaten away by ten thousand insects.
The heavier the evil consequences, the more vicious the backlash.
Sweat poured from Su Li’s forehead, and his long hair was almost completely soaked. His whole body trembled uncontrollably, whether from the cold or the pain, he couldn’t tell. Instinctively, he curled himself into a ball, as though doing so might ease the torment.
He felt that he probably looked very ferocious and terribly ugly now.
What made it even more hateful was that someone was still standing beside him, watching the spectacle and refusing to leave.
Would Qi Changying feel satisfied seeing him suffer like this?
He probably would. After all, he had done the thing Qi Changying hated most, and had just humiliated him with such vicious words…
It didn’t matter. If he wanted to watch, then let him watch.
When the time came, he would make him suffer for what he was enduring right now…
Su Li raised his eyes to look at Qi Changying.
In the next moment, however, he froze.
He saw the young man who had just emerged from the fighting standing alone inside the tent, his face and body covered in dried blood. His entire right arm, in particular, was almost soaked in blood. Those were the wounds that had torn open earlier when he tried to catch Su Li, and even now, his arm was still trembling slightly.
But that wasn’t what left Su Li’s mind blank.
It was the drop of water that fell from the young man’s cheek beneath the dim lamplight inside the tent.
What was that…?
Su Li raised his eyes and stared blankly at Qi Changying’s face.
Only then did he realize that this person’s eyes had become red-rimmed at some point.
“I really… don’t know what to do anymore.”
Qi Changying’s voice trembled slightly. It seemed that only now did Su Li finally realize that this young man, who always seemed gentle and who looked like he would never get hurt by the harsh treatment of others, had shed tears in front of him.
He was crying.
Why was he crying?
Was it because his words were too cruel and had finally hurt him?
But he only wanted him to get farther away and stop interfering.
He didn’t want to make him cry.
“Perhaps you’re right. I shouldn’t meddle in other people’s affairs, and I shouldn’t keep insisting. Perhaps I really am wrong. Since I’ve entered the battlefield, I should cast aside my benevolent heart and focus only on the bigger picture…
“But this isn’t what I want. I don’t think I’m wrong either… So please, just give me a little reason to keep holding on…”
Qi Changying knelt on one knee beside Su Li’s bed and slowly lowered his head. His voice seemed to come from deep within him, muffled and hoarse.
“Zhuge Suli, could you… be just a little kinder to me?”
