Gentleness and kindness are often associated with sensitivity, which means a greater ability to empathize easily and more deeply, along with a level of sentimentality far beyond that of ordinary people.
Qi Changying was exactly that kind of person.
Even though he was born on the frontier and grew up on the battlefield, even though he had witnessed countless deaths and scenes of bloodshed over the past seventeen years, and had killed countless enemy soldiers with his halberd on the front lines, Qi Changying’s true nature had never changed.
His gentleness made no distinction between friend and foe. He treated all innocent lives equally. This was rare and precious, but in the eyes of others, it was usually a mistake, something that was seldom accepted.
Perhaps he really should consider making himself a little harder and more ruthless, abandoning some useless emotions and gentleness, and listening to the people around him. He could send that lonely child back to the summit of Mount Han, where he could once again be the Qiyueban whom no one dared approach and whom everyone feared. He could regard tonight’s massacre as a satisfying act of repaying violence with violence.
His wavering reached its peak when Su Li kept pushing him away.
Perhaps… Qi Changying thought, he really shouldn’t have tried to change anything.
Because it seemed he couldn’t do anything at all.
On one side was his own determination; on the other were the pressures imposed by his father and Ah Rong. Now, Su Li’s cruel and hurtful words fell lightly like the final straw, finally exposing Qi Changying’s vulnerability and grievances.
He was Qi Boming’s son, the Young General of Chifeng Pass, the very gifted young general in red who had taken the head of a Chaosu great general with a single halberd at the age of fifteen.
But he was also just a seventeen-year-old boy.
“Zhuge Suli, could you… be just a little kinder to me?”
The young man leaned against the side of the bed, his voice muffled, with a faint tremor that was difficult to detect.
Su Li’s mind was completely blank.
His head was full of Qi Changying’s words, his red-rimmed eyes, and that single tear that had fallen just moments ago.
“You…”
Su Li subconsciously reached out and grabbed his shoulder. His fingertips trembled from the cold of Qi Changying’s armor.
Since the armor kept him from touching Qi Changying directly, Su Li raised his hand and shoved him hard.
“Get up! Why are you crying?! How have I been unkind to you? You’re clearly the one who doesn’t know what’s good for you. I scold you a couple of times, and you start shedding tears, acting aggrieved, making false accusations, and shouting ‘Catch the thief!’ while being the thief yourself!”
The angrier he became, the more he felt like he was about to explode. So Su Li simply grabbed Qi Changying roughly by the chin, forced his face up, and rubbed his sleeve hard beneath his eyes, back and forth.
“Stop crying! You’re so annoying!!”
“I…”
Qi Changying had only shed a few tears because his emotions had overwhelmed him. After saying those words, he had more or less calmed himself down, and even the tear tracks were almost dry by the time Su Li grabbed him and subjected him to a bout of rough rubbing.
The silver threads in the patterns on the child’s sleeve scraped against his skin, leaving the skin beneath his eyes and across his cheeks red and prickling with pain.
Su Li, however, had no idea he was the one causing this. He simply thought Qi Changying was so fragile that it had taken only a short while for him to cry his face into such a state, like a little cat with a dirty face.
“The city gates were breached in the middle of the night. If I hadn’t acted, would your casualties have been this low?! How many people did I save among you? Could you count them on your ten fingers?! Instead of kneeling down and thanking me for my great benevolence, you’re turning around and accusing me of being too cruel?! What right do you have to scold me?!”
Su Li clutched the fabric over his chest. His face was already pale from pain, yet he still had the energy to argue with Qi Changying.
“I didn’t mean to accuse you of anything, Ah Li.”
“Didn’t you?! Fine, you didn’t say it outright, but you told me to stop and wouldn’t let me continue. Doesn’t that mean you thought I’d gone too far and was too ruthless? You couldn’t stand it because it didn’t fit your glorious, noble image?! Qi Changying, put your hand on your conscience and ask yourself: did you really not think, deep down, that my methods were cruel and that I was a monster?!
“…But I’m telling you, Young General Qi, this is who I am!!!”
Su Li grew angrier as he spoke. Gritting his teeth, he raised his hand and clenched it into a fist. He held it up for a long time before finally slamming it against Qi Changying’s armor with a loud bang.
“Get lost! Get out of here!! You cry, so you’re in the right. You cry, so you’re the aggrieved one. You’re the most aggrieved person in the world, and I’m the bad guy!! Get away from me!!!”
Su Li’s eyes were also faintly red, with a slight glimmer of moisture that was not particularly noticeable.
“…Yes, I was wrong. I was wrong to act. I should have let the Chaosu people slaughter you, that old bastard Qi Boming, and Shen Huarong until every last one of you was dead! Qi Changying, you’re an ungrateful bastard!!”
“No, Ah Li, listen to me. You were the greatest contributor to repelling tonight’s raid. I’m truly grateful that you protected so many lives, and I really wasn’t trying to blame you. As for why I stopped you… I just thought that since they had retreated, we could leave things at that and each side could take a step back. Spare others when you can.”
The sound of his fist striking the armor sounded painful. Qi Changying held Su Li by the wrist as he spoke, his voice still carrying the slight nasal tone of someone who had only just finished crying.
“Spare others when you can?” Su Li seemed to have heard the greatest joke in the world and nearly burst out laughing.
“If they’d won tonight, do you think they would’ve spared you? Do you think they would’ve spared a single person here? You say the Chaosu people are cruel, that they massacre civilians and commit countless atrocities. So what? I’m simply repaying them in their own way, and you can’t stand it again? Qi Changying, it’s not you I’m killing!!!”
“Yes, they’re very cruel and ruthless, but Ah Li, we can’t model our actions on the wicked. Just because they treated us that way in the past doesn’t mean we can take it for granted that treating them the same way is acceptable. We can’t become the same kind of people as them. If we keep answering violence with violence and stopping killing with more killing, there will never be another day of peace in this world.”
“The strong never have to settle for anything less than peace. If they refuse to submit, keep killing them. As long as you kill enough of them, the day will come when they won’t dare raise their heads and shout anymore!”
Su Li interrupted him sharply.
“Kill all the Chaosu people and take the entire northwest for ourselves. Then every problem will be solved at once! If you want to preserve your benevolent heart, then leave the civilians alive and slaughter all the soldiers. Those who remain won’t be able to amount to anything! They raise soldiers to wage war, and war means people die. Since their invasions and evil deeds can be foreseen, why give them the chance to carry them out? What’s wrong with me granting them death?!”
“…That’s not how you can calculate things, Ah Li.”
Qi Changying was truly at a loss when faced with Su Li’s tyrannical reasoning.
“Presuming someone guilty until proven innocent is far too overbearing. We can’t judge others for things that haven’t happened yet. It’s like… suppose there’s a person born with an unusual fate. Someone calculates his destiny and says that his fate is so fortunate and powerful that he could establish a great empire. The emperor hears this and becomes wary of him. Afraid that he’ll threaten the imperial throne, the emperor punishes him in advance and even implicates his family… when the person himself has absolutely no such intention and never will. Yet he suffers this calamity because of his birth chart, or because of some so-called ‘prophecy’ made by others. Wouldn’t that be very unfair to him?
“Chausu soldiers will become invaders in the future, so they must die? Chaosu civilians will raise invaders, so they must die too? Ah Li, it’s wrong to think this way. If you calculate things like that, then there’s no one who deserves to live in the vast land of Chaosu.”
“No one can predict what hasn’t happened yet. Who can sentence someone for something they haven’t done? Seeking justice for what has already happened is what we mean by an eye for an eye.”
“…” Waves of pain surged through Su Li again and again. He sucked in a sharp breath and could barely sit upright.
He slowly leaned forward, resting against Qi Changying’s shoulder.
His voice was hoarse.
“You’re the one who should cultivate the Nether Path. You’ve grasped the whole theory of cause and effect without even needing a teacher.”
“…What?”
“Nothing.” Su Li was too lazy to explain.
“Then I’ll take that as a compliment.”
“You really know how to amuse yourself.”
Su Li remained leaning against Qi Changying’s shoulder, and Qi Changying didn’t move either. Since he made no move to get up, Su Li had no intention of doing so. Instead, he tried to find a more comfortable position, closed his eyes, and said in hoarse voice,
“But have you ever thought about this? If you follow your approach, you’ll stay on the defensive. If they don’t attack, you don’t move. If they attack, you drive them away and call it a day. If you keep defending passively like this, you’ll spend your entire life stationed at this desolate frontier, guarding against their next surprise attack, which could come at any time. You’ll never be able to relax. After you die, the next general will have to continue your work. If he’s someone similar to you, that’s one thing. But what if he’s a coward who can’t hold back the Chaosu people? Then everything will still be ruined. Your soldiers, the civilians you claim to care about…they’ll all die sooner or later. What can your personal determination possibly change?
“And on the Chaosu side, they’ll never give up unless they suffer a serious defeat. That’s how people are. If they don’t experience a painful lesson, they’ll never learn. They’ll keep thinking they have the ability to conquer the Central Plains, and they’ll continue requisitioning grain, conscripting soldiers, and wasting enormous amounts of manpower and money to train their armies for the next war.
“Don’t you want the civilians to stop suffering? Isn’t this suffering too? How much better is it than living through warfare?”
For some reason, Su Li’s mood suddenly calmed down.
He also found himself strange. Why did he suddenly start reasoning with Qi Changying?
After thinking it over, perhaps it was because of that tear Qi Changying had shed earlier.
Qi Changying, this genius of cause and effect, might even have some kind of innate power. Not only was he very good at infuriating people, he also knew exactly when to show weakness and how to manipulate people’s emotions.
“…Some decisions simply have to be made. Short pain is better than long pain. Rather than dragging things out, it’s better to cut through them with a single stroke. If war is inevitable, then it’s better for you to make the decision. At least if you take the initiative, you’ll be able to control everything. With the power to determine the course of events in your hands, you can decide what to do and how to do it.”
Su Li buried his face in the hollow of Qi Changying’s neck. Inhaling the lily fragrance on him, tainted with the scent of blood, he opened his eyes slightly.
“Qi Changying, if you’re willing to beg me, I’ll flatten Chaosu for you.”
“Or I can be even more generous. Just say the word. You decide what extent would be appropriate, and I’ll go that far. You can decide what you want to do. If you want the old emperor’s head, that’s not impossible either.
“I don’t like this emperor. I’ll give you the Nine-Dragon Throne.”
“Don’t say things like that.” Qi Changying gently patted Su Li’s back, as though soothing him.
“I won’t beg you.”
“…Why?”
“Your actions may seem effortless, but they actually come at a very heavy price, don’t they?”
Qi Changying stroked the sweat-dampened hair at the back of Su Li’s head.
“It hurts a lot, doesn’t it, Ah Li?”
“It doesn’t hurt…” Su Li stubbornly denied it, even though his whole body was trembling.
Perhaps it was just too agonizing and unbearable, because upon hearing those words, his eyes stung, and his heart ached in waves, unable to recover.
He endured it for a long time before finally finding his voice again.
“Whatever price I have to pay is my business. It has nothing to do with you. I’m not making you pay it, so why think so much about it? Since I’m giving you this opportunity, I’m willing to bear the price. If I’d offered this opportunity to someone else, they would’ve thanked me a thousand times over, immediately knelt down and kowtowed, and begged me to help them ascend the throne tomorrow. Now that I’ve shown you such great mercy, you’re actually putting on this act of being good.”
“That’s why you wouldn’t offer it to them.”
Qi Changying sighed and said seriously,
“By offering it to me, you’re showing that you trust me and approve of me. So how could I do something I know would hurt you just to satisfy my own desires? How could I make you suffer?”
“…” The ache he had just managed to suppress surged up again. Su Li closed his eyes.
“You… you’re truly beyond saving.”
“Perhaps I am.” Qi Changying lowered his eyes, thought for a moment, and asked,
“…What can I do to make you feel a little better?”
“Shut up and don’t talk.”
“All right.”
So Qi Changying really stopped speaking and quietly let Su Li lean against him.
After a long time, he still couldn’t help saying,
“Ah Li, thank you for telling me all this. I think I understand what I should do now.”
“Who cares about you? I’m not interested in hearing about your stupid affairs.” Su Li responded coldly.
“All right. But I still have to thank you.”
For some reason, hearing those words made Su Li feel stifled and uncomfortable, as though something were stuck in his chest.
Qi Changying really didn’t know how to talk.
Not a single thing he said could make someone feel better. Someone should just make him mute.
“What are you thanking me for? Wasn’t it you who cried and begged me to treat you a little better? …I must have lost my mind to agree to your request. Who do you think you are? You don’t deserve it.”
After saying this, Su Li paused before adding,
“…If you really want to thank me, then stop treating me like a child.”
“And don’t cry again in the future.”
“You look so annoying when you shed tears. I hate seeing you cry.”
Qi Changying felt somewhat helpless and a little wronged.
“I rarely cry.”
“Who’d believe that? I scold you a couple of times and you start crying and whining. You’re even more delicate than that little girl in Zhuge Yu’s family, who hasn’t even grown all her teeth yet and needs her wet nurse to carry her around all day.”
“Then… as you command, Lord Qiyueban.”
“.”
Su Li pushed him away and lay back down on the bed.
“Get lost.”
“I…”
“Lord Qiyueban is telling you to get lost.”
“…”
Qi Changying couldn’t help laughing.
With a smile in his voice, he sighed.
“Ah Li.”
Su Li lay in bed for three days and three nights before finally recovering enough to struggle to his feet and walk.
During those three days, Qi Changying visited him every day and spent some time keeping him company.
Shen Huarong finally understood that his earnest advice that night had most likely gone in one ear and out the other.
He knew that even if he talked until his tongue wore out, he wouldn’t be able to persuade Qi Changying. So he could only go to Qi Boming and complain about him.
Qi Boming was still recovering from his injuries. When Shen Huarong arrived, he was wearing an outer robe and leaning against the bed, reading a military strategy book.
After listening to Shen Huarong ramble on, he didn’t express any opinion. He simply sent someone to summon Qi Changying to his tent.
“Father.”
The wound on Qi Changying’s arm had been treated. Dressed in a crimson fitted outfit, he saluted Qi Boming.
“Mm.” Qi Boming put down the book in his hand and raised his eyes to look at him.
“I called you here because I want to ask you about what I told you that night. What have you decided? Have you made any plans?”
“Your son has thought it through.”
“Let’s hear it.”
“If we want the people on both sides to stop suffering because of war, if we want true peace, then simply defending ourselves as we are doing now isn’t the best strategy. An incident like the night raid on Chifeng Pass will happen countless more times after the first.”
Qi Boming nodded.
“Then what is your idea?”
“Father previously told me to handle this matter entirely at my discretion, so I’ll venture to offer my opinion.”
“Someone told me that short pain is better than long pain. This matter must eventually be decided. Unless we make Chaosu suffer enough to bow its head and abandon its ambition to conquer the Central Plains forever… or at least for a period of time, the people will continue to suffer through a war that they don’t know when it will begin or when it will end.”
“Whatever happens, this matter must reach a conclusion. Rather than clinging to the temporary peace before us, it’s better to take a gamble and eliminate future troubles.”
“His Majesty has been troubled by Chaosu for years. The night raid on Chifeng Pass is an opportunity. I ask Father to write a letter immediately, detailing everything about this incident except anything concerning Qiyueban, and explaining that Chaosu harbors wolfish ambitions. We must earnestly request His Majesty’s approval…”
Qi Changying saluted Qi Boming once more.
“To raise our troops and march north.”
