“We have to listen to you?” Qi Changying repeated Su Li’s words, drawing out the final syllable with a hint of amusement.
He nodded.
“All right. We’ll listen to you.”
Then he looked at Shen Huarong.
“Let’s go, Ah Rong. Come to my tent. I’ve been away for several months, so I imagine a lot must have happened in the camp. The change of commander in the Qi army must have reached Chaosu’s ears by now, too. You’ll have to tell me everything that has happened on their side recently, in full detail, without leaving anything out.”
“You’ve only just returned, and instead of sitting down to rest, you’re already rushing to take care of official business?”
Shen Huarong waved his fan. Then, as if remembering something, he straightened his expression and gave Qi Changying a perfunctory bow
“Yes, Commander.”
Qi Changying and Shen Huarong returned to the camp to discuss official matters. Su Li watched their backs for a long time before finally withdrawing his gaze and reaching out to stroke Wanshui’s face again.
Wanshui was not only beautiful but also very docile. It quietly stayed by Su Li’s side when there was nothing to do, and even when Su Li rode on its back, it walked steadily. Unlike some ill-tempered horses, it didn’t deliberately misbehave and try to throw its rider to the ground.
Su Li rode Wanshui around the camp once.
Then he went to the stables, took a large bundle of high-quality fodder, and found a shady spot outside the camp. Resting his chin in his hand, he fed Wanshui.
The weather has been particularly hot and humid lately. By the afternoon, sitting outside while the hot wind kept blowing against his forehead made him drowsy.
Su Li yawned, his eyes almost unable to stay open.
He was wondering whether he should lean to one side and take a short nap when he heard another person’s voice behind him.
“Ah Li.”
His eyes, which were almost closed, opened again, but Su Li didn’t turn around. He simply pretended not to hear.
“What’s wrong?”
Qi Changying strode over and sat down beside Su Li.
He had already taken off his cape and armor, leaving only a simple, lightweight outfit in crimson. This made him seem a little less mature, and he once again resembled the carefree young man who had taken him through the Mid-Autumn Festival lanterns back then.
“It’s your birthday today, and you’ve gotten the horse you wanted. Why are you still unhappy? Or is the horse not to your liking?”
“The horse is fine.” Su Li had no idea what terrible crime the long blade of grass in his hand had committed. He pinched it into little pieces with his fingertips and casually tossed them onto the ground.
After saying that, he paused before adding:
“The person is a little lacking.”
Qi Changying understood this child too well. Naturally, he could tell that Su Li was making another indirect jab at him.
He couldn’t help laughing.
“What am I lacking? Would you care to explain it to me?”
“Commander Qi.” Su Li finally threw away the fodder in his hand, brushed the bits of grass from his palms, then lazily propped himself up with his hands behind him and glanced sideways at Qi Changying.
“I heard that good things are about to happen for you?”
“Hmm? What good things?” Qi Changying didn’t quite understand what he meant when he suddenly brought it up.
“Don’t pretend. I heard everything from that fox Shen. So, who did you finally settle on? The duke’s granddaughter, the minister’s youngest daughter, the marquis’s legitimate eldest daughter, Shen Huarong’s younger sister, or are you going to marry a princess directly?”
“…What are you talking about?” Qi Changying laughed helplessly.
“What did Ah Rong tell you? Did he say that I’m getting married?”
Su Li didn’t answer. He quietly studied the expression on Qi Changying’s face. He didn’t look like someone who had been found out, and Su Li’s mood improved by a tiny amount.
He pursed his lips and bestowed the word upon Qi Changying.
“Betrothed.”
“That Ah Rong! He hears a little something and tells you everything… Nothing has been decided. My aunt did have the idea, and she asked people to look into some potential matches, but I haven’t agreed.”
And so, the gloom that had been weighing on Su Li’s heart for many days gradually dissipated as he heard this. He blinked and pressed the corner of his mouth together very slightly.
“Shen Huarong said getting married is the best thing in the world. Why didn’t you agree? Aren’t you going to leave descendants for your family?”
“Did Ah Rong teach you that, too?”
Qi Changying really wanted to go back and knock on Shen Huarong’s head. What has he been teaching the child all day?
“The Qi family doesn’t only have me. My aunt’s branch is flourishing, so the pressure of carrying on the family line doesn’t fall on me. Besides, my father has only just passed away, and the war in the northwest hasn’t ended. How could I have the time to think about such things? And besides… I personally feel that marriage is an important matter and shouldn’t be decided so hastily or carelessly.”
“Then how should it be done?” Su Li really didn’t understand these things.
Qi Changying thought for a moment and seriously explained it to him.
“Hmm… Since it’s someone I’ll spend my whole life with, I’d rather wait for someone I truly like. We can spend time together slowly, get to know each other, and only discuss these things after we’ve confirmed our feelings. Just like my father and mother. They loved each other, stayed together, and lived in harmony.”
After going around in circles, they returned to the “love” Shen Huarong talked about.
“So you don’t like the duke’s granddaughter, the marquis’s legitimate daughter, the princess, or Shen Huarong’s younger sister?” Su Li raised an eyebrow slightly.
“I’ve never even met any of the young women you mentioned. How could I possibly like them?”
“Then is there someone you like?”
“No.”
Children are generally curious and full of longing when it comes to matters of love. Although Su Li kept a straight face every day and looked like a little adult, he didn’t know everything or understand everything either. Sometimes, he could still be childish.
Qi Changying smiled.
“I spend every day here on the northwest border. Where would I find someone I like?”
That was true.
At a glance, the northwest camp was full of men. There really weren’t any young women there whom Qi Changying could marry.
“So you mean that if you find someone you like, you’ll marry her?”
“Perhaps. Ah Li can like someone else, too. If one day you find someone you like, you’ll want to stay with her forever and become a family with her. That’s only natural. It happens when the time is right.”
“…”
These words made Su Li somewhat unhappy.
He turned his gaze away.
“What is liking someone? I don’t know.”
“Liking someone… I suppose it means wanting to see her every day and stay by her side daily. Wanting her to be happy and content, not wanting her to feel sad or upset. Wanting to protect her forever and not let her suffer even the slightest harm. I haven’t experienced it myself either, but I imagine that’s probably what it is.”
It sounded like a very selfless, giving kind of affection.
Unfortunately, selflessness and generosity were exactly what Su Li lacked most.
That sort of thing had absolutely nothing to do with him. But from the sound of it, it did seem rather suitable for Qi Changying.
After all, Qi Changying loved meddling in other people’s affairs the most, burning himself up to illuminate others.
A great sage, someone who could love many, many people.
Su Li sneered inwardly. After a long pause, he asked casually:
“What kind of person would you like?”
“…I don’t know either. I suppose I’ll only find out when I meet her.”
“Then I wish you a fierce wife.”
Su Li’s tone was a little cold.
“May she curse you, beat you, bully you, and torment you every day. May she wear down that cotton-like temperament of yours. May she be like a nettle, pricking your hands with thorns whenever you approach. You won’t be able to let go, but holding her will hurt. May she make you suffer so much that you’re in unbearable pain and never find redemption.”
Qi Changying found this somewhat amusing.
“Why?”
“Why do you care?” Su Li glared at Qi Changying gloomily.
“Because I hate you, I don’t want you to be well. What are you going to do about it?”
“I see.” Qi Changying nodded and deliberately sighed.
“Then I suppose Ah Li wouldn’t accept a gift from someone he hates, either.”
“?”
Su Li glanced at Wanshui and silently tightened his grip on the reins, as if afraid Qi Changying would snatch the horse back from him.
Unexpectedly, something suddenly flashed across the corner of his eye. He froze slightly and turned to look, only to see Qi Changying raise his hand in front of him and spread his fingers. A white jade pendant, the color of mutton fat, dangled between his fingers, swaying gently.
Su Li froze. He stared at the jade pendant for a long time before raising his eyes to meet Qi Changying’s gaze.
Perhaps Qi Changying noticed the confusion in Su Li’s round, black eyes, so he explained, “Didn’t I promise you? On the day of your fifteenth birthday, I would not only give you a pony but also add another birthday gift. This is for you.”
“…”
Su Li took the jade pendant.
The pendant was warm, still carrying the temperature of Qi Changying’s palm.
Su Li rubbed the surface of the white jade with his fingertip.
Cloud patterns were carved on it. The design was very simple, and the craftsmanship was rough. What a pity. Such fine jade had been completely ruined by a stupid craftsman.
“You’re just trying to fool me with something like this.”
After saying this, Su Li seemed to suddenly realize something.
He raised an eyebrow slightly and brought the jade pendant close to his nose, sniffing it gently. After pausing for a moment, he looked at Qi Changying again with some hesitation.
“Your blood has been on this?”
“You can even smell that?”
Qi Changying’s eyes widened slightly.
“Obviously.”
Su Li grabbed his wrist and turned his palm over. Sure enough, there were still several wounds on it that had not completely healed.
The marks had faded considerably, but it was still possible to tell that they were cuts made by a small knife.
Combining this with the rough carvings on the jade, Su Li immediately understood.
“You carved this jade pendant yourself?”
“Yes.” Seeming a little embarrassed, Qi Changying curled his fingers to cover the wounds on his hand.
“The jade was already available, but at the time, I didn’t know I would return to the capital. I couldn’t find any good craftsmen here in the northwest, and I happened to have learned a little about carving in the past, so I thought I’d try carving a design myself… I guess I overestimated myself. Such fine jade has gone to waste. If you don’t like it, you can give it back to me for now. When I have time in the future, I’ll find a good master to improve it and then give it back to you. How about that?”
“…”
Su Li tightened his grip on the jade pendant.
“Is there any reason to take something back after you’ve given it away?”
He tucked the pendant into his chest.
“The craftsmanship is a little terrible, but I’ll reluctantly keep it. Otherwise, you might take it back and refuse to return it, then claim it as yours.”
“How would I ever do that to you?”
“Who knows?”
“All right.”
Qi Changying smiled and nodded, then raised his eyes to look at the sun sinking toward the western mountains.
The two sat side by side. The horses lowered their heads to graze nearby, and even the wind passing by carried a rare hint of coolness.
After quietly watching the fiery clouds and the setting sun together for a while, Su Li suddenly asked out of the blue,
“There’s going to be another war, isn’t there?”
“Mm.” Qi Changying nodded.
“His Majesty has bestowed the commander-in-chief’s seal upon me and allowed me to lead the army north on an expedition. This time, I must return to the capital with the surrender letter from the king of Chaosu. Otherwise, I’ll have failed to live up to His Majesty’s high expectations.”
“How much are his high expectations worth?”
“You… Don’t say things like that,” Qi Changying sighed. “I’m too young and lack experience. Even with some military achievements, I shouldn’t have been able to obtain such great authority. This time, His Majesty chose to trust me despite all the opposition. If I lose, I’m afraid I won’t be able to preserve either this seal or the Qi family’s honor.”
“……” Su Li pressed his lips together and did not continue that topic. Instead, he asked, “How long will the war last?”
“I don’t know either. Probably years.”
“Once you win, you’ll return to the capital?”
“Mm.”
“And once you return to the capital, you’ll have to get married?”
Qi Changying couldn’t help laughing.
“Kid, what’s wrong with you today? You keep bringing up marriage.”
“Why do you talk so much? I asked you a question, so just answer it.”
“All right… Perhaps.”
Qi Changying curved his lips slightly.
“No one can say for sure about this sort of thing, and I can’t give you a definite answer. Although I’m not thinking about it right now, who knows what changes the future might bring? Let the future take care of itself when it comes.”
“…”
These words completely infuriated Su Li.
He ground his teeth viciously, then emphasized once again,
“I really hate you, Qi Changying.”
“You’ve said that so many times already, Ah Li.”
“I hate you so much. What’s wrong with saying it a few more times?”
“All right. It doesn’t matter.”
Qi Changying smiled and casually said,
“As long as I like you.”
“…”
Upon hearing those words, Su Li froze completely.
For some reason, although this was not what he wanted, he still remained motionless for a very long time, as if that short sentence from Qi Changying had suddenly pulled his soul out of his body.
He knew Qi Changying didn’t mean it that way.
There were many, many kinds of liking in this world. Even though he knew nothing about romantic feelings, he still understood that one kind of liking could be different from another.
Qi Changying liked Shen Huarong, liked Qi Boming, liked Qianshan, liked the northwest, liked peace, liked the sun, and liked the wind.
But he would not marry any of them.
The “liking” he just spoke of was no different from those.
Su Li clearly understood all this, but… why did he freeze in a daze just now?
…He really had lost his mind.
It was all Qi Changying’s fault for always saying such ambiguous things.
“Ah Li.”
“What?!”
His mind was in a mess, so his tone became harsher as well.
“…In the future, if you meet someone you like, remember not to say the opposite of what you mean, and don’t push her away.”
Qi Changying knew these words would make Su Li angry, but since they had brought up this topic today, he still wanted to take the opportunity to talk things through with Su Li and have a heart-to-heart with him.
“There is no one in this world who cannot be driven away. I imagine you don’t understand romantic love, so let me put it this way. If, in the future, you meet someone whom you want to claim entirely for yourself, someone whose attention you don’t want to share with anyone else, someone you cannot bear to lose or accept leaving you or not belonging to you, someone you want to bind firmly to your side, then remember that this is love.”
“But people are alive, Ah Li. You cannot treat her like an object without life or thoughts. You must learn to respect her thoughts and choices. You cannot casually restrict whether she stays or leaves. Because you love her, she must be someone very important to you, someone you want to accompany you for the rest of your life. Having such a person appear in your life is extremely rare. It is a bond destined by Heaven. If you push that person away without understanding what you’re doing and lose her, you may never find another person like her in your entire life. Perhaps you’ll spend the rest of your life regretting it and feeling miserable.”
“Although someone who loves you will understand that you say the opposite of what you mean, Ah Li, people are not made of grass or trees. When they’re hurt, they feel pain. When they’re tired, they will think of giving up and leaving. Don’t wait until you’ve lost her to regret it. By then, both of you will be heartbroken. After all… you clearly had the chance to be happy together forever.”
“So, Ah Li, stop being hypocritical and saying the opposite of what you mean. Try to change this bad habit.”
“There’s nothing shameful about saying you like someone. There’s nothing shameful about saying you love someone, and there’s nothing shameful about wanting to treat someone well. Giving the person you like tenderness and special treatment openly and generously is even less shameful. It’s fine to act this way toward me and Ah Rong, but if you meet a girl you like in the future, remember not to feel awkward or embarrassed. Don’t tell her you hate her. Don’t break her heart.
“Try to love her properly. Try… to treat her a little more kindly.”
